Wednesday, February 25, 2015
I blew it the other day. BLEW it! It was bad. I reverted into that mother that I have tried so hard to change. I was ashamed, and felt guilty. I hate yelling at my kids. And here I was back to where I didn't want to be.
So what did I do? I apologized almost immediately. Before, it would have taken me awhile. But this time I didn't just apologize to the child I yelled at, I apologized to all my other children for losing control and acting like a two-year old. They heard the whole thing. How could they not?
There is such power in an apology. Kids are so forgiving. They need to see that we are human. They need to see how to restore relationships when they get broken. Even though my child wasn't ready to forgive me yet, I knew that she couldn't lay there and demonize me. She knew I had to swallow my pride to get those two simple words out, "I'm sorry". The next day, on her own, she apologized to me. It wasn't forced or coerced. Ahh, SWEET RESTORATION!
In the book Love Dare for Parents, "Time reveals our humanity. Our children start feeling the aftershocks of our sinfulness and inconsistency...They wholeheartedly speak, but we're only half-listening. Sometimes we forget or we are lazy. Self-centered or angry. Ungrateful. Sinful."
"That's when love reminds us that there are no perfect parents-just the prideful, self-righteous ones who live in denial, and humble, honest ones who take responsibility for their mistakes. Love soberly invites us to look our children in the eye and tell the truth about our brokenness. To embrace the benefits of repentance, owning up to what we've done and adjusting our course."
"All parents need to be aware that a list of their crimes is probably being compiled over time in the hearts of their children. Wrongs they perceive that you have done. Hurtful words. Broken promises. Angry outbursts. Times when you have not practiced what you preached."
A simple way of correcting this is to go to each child and ask them, "Is there anything that I have done wrong that I haven't apologized for?" Listen and don't be defensive. You might be surprised at what is in your child's heart. Reduce that list NOW, not when they are 30 and still remember all the "bad things" their parents did to them.
It takes humility, but God has called us to walk in a humble way. A loving way.
I am going to take the way of love. I need forgiveness as much as my kids do. And more than anything right now as they are in the thick of growing up, I want a solid, godly, respectful relationship with each of my children.
Wednesday, February 11, 2015
( A nice layer of thick bark chip "covering" my bulbs and newly planted flowers)
I am shocked when I look back and realize I haven't blogged in over a month. It seems like the older I get, the less I have to say. That is probably a good thing.
The Lord is teaching me so much. Life has been difficult the past two weeks. Lots of strange things have happened and I just kind of feel "off". It seems like there is new drama every day and I am growing weary of it.
I was praying and praying yesterday and yet felt no peace, no joy, only worry as I was obsessively thinking about some of my problems. I cried out to God and said, "Lord, I need a word from you." I had no idea how it was going to come but I felt like it was going to be given to me that day. I was desperate!
As I was laying on a massage table, my sweet, Christian massage therapist, who happens to be one of the wisest people I know, started talking to me about this cool documentary she loved. It was called "Back to Eden". It was about gardening and tying it to Scripture. She said it was fascinating how we "cover" our earth with mulch, bark, and cover crops and the reasons behind it. Tears instantly started running down my cheeks. I told her, "That's it! That's my word!" She was a bit confused and I started explaining to her how helpless I had been feeling about some of the hard things my children had been facing at school. I knew God had instructed me to pray for them more intentionally, but when God gave me that word "Cover", I knew that's how I was to pray for them.
Of course, the next morning during my devotions, I decided to do a word search on the word "covering". Fascinating stuff!
Covering: A thing used to cover something, typically to protect or conceal
Cover, Covering Fire: Fire that makes it difficult for the enemy to fire on your own individuals or formations.
Cover: To provide for
Cover: To take an action to protect against future problems.
Cover: To protect or defend
Cover: To maintain a check on, especially by patrolling
Cover: Clothe, as if for protection from the elements
This is how and why I am to "cover" my children in prayer. I sensed a new and renewed purpose when I started to pray for my children this morning. Not just my children, but the other children at school, the teachers, the administrations. I started envisioning the hallways and the classrooms and prayed God's covering over them as well.
His covering is perfect and powerful. I can trust in Jesus's blood to cover my children and the areas that influence them.
"Thank you, Lord for these marching orders. They have given me hope and encouragement. For nothing is impossible with You!"