Words cannot express my love for you. You are the baby of our family and I grieve constantly to know that all of your firsts are all of my lasts. I so want you to grow up, but I also want to go back in time and carry you around with me and have you suckle at my breast. The joy and peace of those days are something to be treasured. I have tried to really cherish this last year we have together before you head off to school next year. You are my little sidekick and you make me do things I don't necessarily want to do (like go to a park, go outside and swing with you, have a million tea parties, read lots and lots of books, dance, sing and act silly). I am an old fuddy-duddy, as your father would say. Much too serious. But your silliness makes me laugh when life hurts.
One of your shining milestones during your fourth year of life was asking Jesus into you heart. I can't tell you how happy that makes me. You constantly are trying to wrap your brain around the omnipotence of God. You always ask me whether we are swinging, or in the car, "Is God sitting by me and holding my hand?". Oh, Darling, yes!!! He is sitting there always beside you and holding your hand. He will never leave you or forsake you. He is always with you. I am so thankful that you seem to have such a heart towards spiritual things. You have so many questions. Keep questioning, keep asking, keep praying those sweet little prayers. He hears you and He loves you so much.
I love taking your places. You have such good manners and you truly appreciate it when we do special things. I have probably spoiled you (you are my baby), but I pray I haven't spoiled you rotten. I also pray that I have learned to be a better parent to you then I have to your older siblings. The things I stressed out about when they were little do not seem important now. You are reaping the benefits of all my mistakes, failures, and successes. You get a more relaxed mama, who isn't quite as fearful as she once was.
I know you have been wishing to turn five for almost a year, but I'm going to be doing a little grieving. When your oldest brother was born, I remember looking into his eyes when he was laid in my arms and thinking, "one day this kid is going to be five." Now here we are, the youngest of six, 15 YEARS later, and it is your turn to be five.
"The King is enthralled by your beauty; honor him for he is your lord." -Psalm 45:11
Lily, you are beautiful. God thinks so, and your family thinks so. We love you so much and enjoy you. Thank you for being YOU!
"Even when I am old and gray, do not forsake me, O God, till I declare your power to the next generation, your might to all who are to come." Psalm 71:18
I pray that I will continue to live for God by example so that you might know of God's power and that you will eventually teach His ways to your children.
Love your BLESSED Mama,