I am feeling overwhelmed by what the Lord is doing in our lives. I just got back from speaking at a small church in Eastern Oregon. They invited me to share my testimony and to teach them how to protect their families from pornography. The night before I spoke, I was plagued by nightmares. I woke up feeling depressed and oppressed. I wouldn't really call it fear. It was a burden that I knew I wasn't meant to bear. As I told my sister about it, she immediately laid her hands on me. Together we transferred that burden back to the the One who was meant to bear it. Jesus...The oppression left and I felt no worries in my heart for that coming night.
As I entered the church, I cannot tell you the love that I felt for the people, and the love they felt for me. People I never met were kind and compassionate and grateful that I had come.
During the speech, I felt like it was an out of body experience. I knew it wasn't me. It was the Lord talking through me. In my own flesh, I am weak and timid, fearful of what a more experienced person would think of this ordinary mom, with no counseling degree, or any other degree other than a high school diploma. I didn't think of those things as I spoke boldly to this group on pornography within the church, within marriage, and how it is affecting our children's lives. College degrees don't matter when you have the Degree of Pain.
The best part of the night was the hour we spent in question and answer time. What blessed me was watching the people of God, talk about this difficult and uncomfortable subject. Dialogue was taking place! I left knowing that God had opened a can of worms and that they had a new perspective. I believed that they were going to be DOERS of the Word, not just HEARERS.
One lady spoke up at the end, with tears in her eyes. She said that she knew God was working in our lives. Another said God was being glorified! Oh, He was!!! He is glorified when we are obedient even when it is risky and it hurts.
I saw my sons the next morning and I was able to thank them for letting me share their stories. I don't know many teenage boys that would allow their mother to do something like that. The reason why I have this ministry is because they want to help others as well. I praise God for their willingness. Only the Lord knows how many lives will be affected because of it.
I thank all of the parents out there that have allowed me to share their stories as well. I felt you on that stage with me. All the emails, phone calls and texts that I have received from hurting parents, and wives whose lives were devastated by pornography has fueled me to keep pressing on in this. I hear you, I hurt for you, and I am confident that God is using each one to help others avoid the pitfalls that the enemy has laid for them.
The Lord is good and what He does is good. I cannot stop praising Him for what He has done and what He is going to do.He is turning my mourning into dancing. My tears have sown joy.
I can only imagine what the future holds...