Monday, December 2, 2013
I ran across this today and I thought I would share this powerful lesson with you as well.
"We can do nothing to make our own hearts clean and pure. God creates clean hearts from nothing. God does not form clean hearts in us with the existing materials of our righteous acts and self-disciplines. If we had all those things, our human natures would more likely form them into the stuff of self-righteousness and pride rather than purity of heart. God creates pure hearts from nothing in response to our sincerest repentance and desire to be pure before Him."- Beth Moore from her Believing God Bible study
No matter how much I study the Bible and practice my spiritual disciplines, I cannot make my own heart clean. Only the blood of the lamb can do that. I thank God that He did not allow me to stay in my self-righteousness. Since our devastation with our oldest son, God has used it to strip my pride away. I tried to be the perfect parent. I know I self-righteously thought, "Well, if others would just do this, this and this, then they wouldn't be in the pickle they are in with their children." Boy was I wrong! There is not formula. I prayed for my kids, I DEVOURED God's Word. I homeschooled my children to try to protect them from the World's evil influences and yet it didn't matter. My son chose to sin and the consequences of that devastated our family.
Now here we are, 20 months later STILL trying to pick up the pieces. At the beginning of this, I just wanted a plan, a time-line or some indication of when life would get back to "normal". I wanted to be in CONTROL of my life. As we pick up piece by precious piece, I know that God is putting those broken fragments back onto a foundation that is ROCK solid. For I am allowing God to build my family "on the Rock who is higher than I". I don't have to know the plan two days from now, let alone two months, or two years. I just have to go with God's plans for me today. I have to trust that His plans are good even when they hurt.
I choose to look at the blessings in our situation. There are many. Too many to list here. These blessings have been mined through the hardest bedrock. They weren't just lying on the surface, ready to harvest, I had to DIG. But when I got to each blessing, and realized the Work it took to recognize it, I stand amazed at how precious they really are. Beautiful gems that are fit for my King Jesus.
I have been so completely transformed by this experience. There will always be trouble in the world, but Jesus has overcome the world. He is my all in all. He pray He always keeps me humble so I can be a true servant of God.