Thursday, August 29, 2013

Too


Too

We were much too young
Much to selfish
Much too blind
to make it.

Much to wounded
Much too frightened
Much too hurt
To take it.

Too much we said
When love seemed dead
To go on
And forget.

Too little learned
From anger burned
Too much
We both regret.

Yet God's been...

Much too good
Much too faithful
Much too kind
To walk away.

Much too patient
Much too present
Much too able
 Not to stay.

Too much harm
 To children's charms
To tear our home apart.

Too much time
For nursery rhymes
To give away our hearts.

Too much we've shared
With no one else
To go on and forget.

Too many years
Of drying tears
To do what we'd regret.

Too many laughs when
Thinking back
Remind me what is true
I find that I still love you
And I think you love me,
Too.

-Written by Beth Moore

When I read this, I couldn't help but think of my own marriage. The seasons that we have been through have been tough. I was so young and selfish (barely 20) when we got married. We fought over everything! Then I started to learn about submission. It took me 15 years to finally figure that one out. I would go from one extreme to the other. I finally learned it started with submission to God's plan and will for my life.  

Being the wife of a firefighter and having a large, growing family AND homeschooling them for seven years, meant that I was alone a lot with the kids. I was exhausted. I was grumpy. I was resentful and growing increasingly bitter towards my husband.

Looking back, I see now how I sought to control and change my man. I knew I was supposed to love him the way he was, but I just thought my life would be so much easier if he would just do what I thought was best! Through the help of three amazing women in my life (you know who you are), I received accountability that I so desperately needed. When I would complain, they would patiently listen, but then tell me flat out what I did wrong. They made me think it through after the emotions were not running quite as high. They were for my marriage. They were for Steve and they were for me. I didn't run to people who would bash him. I ran to people who knew the Word of God and would point me to it. I have grown so much because of them. Thank you!!!

Steve and I have entered into a new phase in our marriage. It seems to be based on mutual acceptance of each other's strengths and weaknesses. We don't seem to argue about stupid things anymore. We don't seem to argue much at all. I keep waiting for the other shoe to fall, but I really think this might be a lasting change. If I could put my finger on just one thing, I would say that we both feel SAFE. We can open up our hearts towards each other and know that the information will not be used as ammunition later in a fight. It has not always been this way. 

Thank you God, for the work you are doing in my marriage. You are so amazing! You are truly a miracle worker, for you know that our marriage has truly been a miraculous! Thank you for being so good to us. I look to You to continue to make me and mold me into the godly wife you would have me be.


5 comments:

mbrewer said...

Wow....so fun to watch that unfolding process which my life and marriage has mirrored change and continual molding. We know we are through the worst since we choose to continue and seek Him through it all. I am so glad you are seeing fruits for your HARD WORK. Keep on keeping on. I am always there for you dear godly sister. Can't imagine my victorious life without you too!

mommamindy said...

I'm thankful to see good come of your suffering. Some call Romans 8:28 a "pat answer", I call it my Life Preserver. The Lord is working in our lives in ways we don't understand. I appreciate how you've stayed faithful through this all.

You are always so encouraging, I'm thankful I stopped by your blog today.

Wanting What I Have said...

This makes me so teary with thankfulness!!! We were just 20 when we wed as well and we fought about everything! The Lord is so sweet not to leave us, But to continually refine us. Have you heard Andrew Peterson's song dancing in the mine fields? I think it would really encourage and minister to your heart. :-)

Cheesemakin' Mamma said...

You and Steve are walking miracles and a testament to the grace and mercy of God. Two more opposite personalities, I don't think I've ever seen. God is so good and I'm so happy that 18 years later you are seeing the fruit of being committed. Love you both!

Becky L. said...

I like the poem as well. It could be us as well. I've grown through the almost 36 years of our marriage. I remember nights of arguing and tears. I remember how he said he'd never leave me, no matter what. We've grown in our lives together, learned things about marriage we didn't know at the beginning. I'm thankful for Godly teaching in our church that's helped our marriage and others as well. Hugs and congrats to you both for staying together through life. God bless!

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