Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Husbands and Church Revisited...

Are you feeling discouraged because your husband doesn't seem to take an interest in church? Do you feel light years ahead of him spiritually? Maybe your husband is a believer but just doesn't seem to really make an effort. Are you waiting for him to take charge of the home and start being the spiritual leader that you have been dreaming about? Girlfriend, you are not alone!

David Murrow writes in his book Why Men Hate Church, "Women attend church in greater numbers than men. This is true all over the world, in nearly every branch of Christianity.... Women are more serious about their faith. They are much more likely than men to participate in the life of the church beyond Sunday morning worship services. They are also more likely to practice Christian disciplines such as prayer, discipleship, and evangelism."

He encourages us to do a few things that just might bring the men back to church. Here they are, Ladies!

1. Be willing to let your husband choose a church that meets his needs.

2. Allow him to gather with other men, without any women around.

3. Meet with other women to pray for your husbands (avoid complaining though).

4. Stop dragging your husband to church with you-Jesus never forced anyone to follow Him.

5. Be more real and less saintly and religious.

6. Do not serve in a ministry to which God does not call you-you may be taking the place God has assigned to a man.

7. Seek to be humble and compassionate, rather than demonstrating attitudes that belittle or come across as spiritually superior.

8. Don't hold back from following Jesus with your whole heart.

9. Give up your fantasy of what your husband will be like when God gets a hold of him, and start genuinely loving him and appreciating his strengths now.

10.  Teach your children to obey and honor their father, to serve Him, respect his advice. Mothers often turn their children's hearts away from their fathers because they don't understand how their actions are impacting the home. (Thanks Mindy, for this!)

Wow! I am so challenged by this. If you want to read my testimony called "Husbands and Church" click here. I can't believe how many of these things I have done or not done. We cannot give up hope, but we also need to face the fact that God has a plan for your husband. He knows what it takes, not you. The more we push and prod, the more they fight us and God and then our marriages suffer. It took years for me to figure this out. Younger women, don't panic and think, "if he doesn't believe then statistics say my children won't believe either." God is bigger than that!!!!

I am reading an amazing book by Nancy Meyer Sebastian called Spiritually Singles Moms. It is for anyone who has an unbelieving husband to the husband who is "just not into the church thing much". It is very honest and candid. She even talks about being jealous of her friends' "godly" husbands and how to answer your children when they ask about their father's spiritual beliefs. It is packed full of Scripture.

My hubby comes to church when he can. Sometimes he is up all night and wants to sleep when he gets home (he's a firefighter!). He used to force himself to come to church not because he wanted to, but because he knew I would be mad at him.

 He loves our new church and although he is not involved other than attending, I can tell that he is interested, and feels at home there. Even though it was extremely hard leaving our old church (due to some hard circumstances) God has blessed us immeasurably with a new church family.

I will appreciate when he comes and I will let go of the days when he chooses not to. My husband is in God's hands. I want him to come to worship out of his own will, not because he wants to please me.


mommamindy said...

I love that list! I love homeschooling, but I can see in the movement women can become more bossy and controlling at home and in the church.

I think #6 is crucial, there are guidelines the Lord gave in I Corinthians for the Church, and people don't like to follow them. God had order in Creation, He has order in the home and He has order in the Church. He is a God of order.

The verse that has encouraged and rebuked me over and over through the years is that a woman is to win over a husband "without a word." We think we'll win them over with our words, but if anyone is married to someone who had a naggy mother, your words will turn him away from you before you can finish your sentence.

I would also add to the list to encourage women to teach their children to obey and honor their fathers, to serve Him, respect his advice. Mothers often turn their children's hearts away from their fathers because they don't understand how their actions are impacting the home.

Thanks for sharing your heart and such great advice.

Stacie, A Firefighter's Wife said...

Awesome Mindy!!! I added that to the list. If anyone else has some other suggestion that they think of, I will add it to the list too! Let's learn from each other and help prevent others from making the same mistakes we did!

Cheesemakin' Mamma said...

There is such truth in this article. I've done a lot of these wrong through the years, but I'm a lot better now, and Michael is much more responsive to the things of God now.

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