Thursday, September 27, 2012

Not For A Moment


When reading about the Israelites and their lack of faithfulness, I would just be astounded. I would think, "How could you be so stupid? You walked through a sea that was parted. You witnessed miracle after miracle. How could you forget within days?"

Yesterday, I was so convicted. I am just like them. I have seen the miracles, yet within days, I am cast down and despairing. Why do I forget so easily? Why do humans have such a short memory? Why do we dwell on the negative and not the positive?

I confessed my sin and asked God to cleanse me yet once again. I asked Him to fill me with the Holy Spirit. In turn I was filled with hope, peace and patience that could only come from Him.

I am Peter. I want to walk on the water toward Jesus. I want to witness the miracle. Even as the miracle is taking place, I grow afraid and take my eyes off of Him and onto my circumstances. I begin to sink. Sometimes I don't even realize I am sinking until the feeling of drowning in grief and disappointment is heavy upon me. Then Jesus reaches out His strong and capable hand and He lifts me up again.

I am walking beside Him again and it feels good. I will remember the 1,300 plus blessings that are written in my journal. I will go back and read them and change my attitude. My God will not forsake me and my family.

This song came on the radio after I surrendered it all back to Him. Powerful! I think I might just have to sing this song at church.

Not For a Moment

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Are You Limping?


I was privileged to be invited to see Beth Moore's simulcast this past Saturday. God used it in so many ways to speak to my heart. I felt washed with His Word and equipped to enter into this new phase of my life. Commissioned, really. I just wanted to share a few points that really spoke to me. They may seem random, but bear with me.

The context of the scripture is found in 2 Kings 4. She drew many contrasts and comparisons between the two women whom Elisha the prophet had encounters with.

Girl A experienced a season of extreme loss. Girl Z is in a season where she thinks she is perfectly fine. The problem is, God didn't call us to FINE, He called us to FAITH. Do you want to live in the supernatural provision of God or do you want to just live a humanly explainable life? Do you want people to be able to see God in your life?

 Girl Z- If you have everything you need, you need to have a better life. There is a lost world out there that NEEDS you. You need to be equipped to be able to go to that world and serve. Only in the power of the Holy Spirit can that be done effectively. Girl Z was afraid to ask God big things (for God to open her womb) because she was afraid of being disappointed. How often do we do this? We are afraid of risk, of being hurt and then we end up living a little life. God has called you to live an abundant life, a BIG life for Jesus Christ!

Get your FAITH back into your faithfulness. You can't be faithful with just good deeds and trying to be a good person. That isn't faith in God, that is faith in yourself.

Shut down and shut out those voices that are hindering you. What is God saying to you? There are many good Christian people out there that give advice from their own experiences, or they have their own agenda for your life. Perhaps they see danger and want to protect you from hard things. That isn't bad, but following God does mean risk. It takes faith. Sometimes God asks us to do things that don't make sense. Are we still going to obey His voice? What does God want you to do? Ask Him and seek His face until you know. Weigh man's advice against what God is speaking to you. Make sure they match up. Sometimes they do, but sometimes they don't.

FEAR is the crippler of a walking, talking miracle. You are called to tell your story. My story is one of redemption. Is there risk involved in telling it? In being vulnerable? Oh yes. But I know God has called me to tell it.  Because I have been vulnerable and honest about our situation, people have been drawn to it. Beth says people are drawn to other people who walk with a limp. Well, I am officially limping! Our family is limping, but we a still moving forward. Can we be honest with each other about our injuries? Are we going to hide them from everyone so that they won't notice that we are hurting? Will we allow God to use our wounding for His purposes? Oh, I pray that latter!

The Bible says over and over that we should not be terrified. Why then are so many Christians living in fear? Psalm 44:5 says "Through You we push back our enemies. Through Your name we trample our foes."

Faith trusts that every call to forsake is a call to also take. Forsake your sin and take up the powerful resurrection in Christ Jesus. Forsake fear and turn it into courage.

As I have watched my oldest son go from being caught in his sin and at first denying responsibility to taking full responsibility, I have watched him grow in the Lord before my very eyes. My son is in love with Jesus. My son gives God the credit when he accomplishes something that was difficult. God has answered my prayers in amazing ways. I can say 8 months down this road that it was all worth it. I can see why God allowed such a storm to take place in our lives. He uprooted a 1,000 different things in our lives that didn't belong there. I am watching God redeem my son's life. I have full expectation that my son will be used in a mighty way to warn others about the dangers of porn and the consequences of turning from God and heading into full rebellion. He is a picture of how God takes a sin-sick life and turns it into a life that He can use for His glory and purposes. There is so much hope in that!





Thursday, September 6, 2012

BIG Changes


(This is what it looked like when we first moved it)
I will try to get some updated pics soon.

This week I put four of my children in public school. It has been a huge trust issue for me. I think it was easier to homeschool, because I was relying on MY abilities, schedule, etc. I could protect and teach my kids at the same time (I thought). When God asked me to trust Him in this area, I cried and cried. I knew it was letting go of something huge. So far it has been a wonderful experience. The kids are loving having friends and they are excited about learning. I actually like it when they come home with homework. I want to see what they are doing, and how they are doing. I want to help the teacher anyway that I can. It is good.

The other big change for us is putting our house up for sale. We want to move to the small town where our church and the kid's school is now it. At $4 a gallon for gas, we realized that the commute would kill us. We will be closer to my parent's which means we will only be 5 minutes away from Josh. I have taken over his homeschooling, so I will be able to oversee that much easier when we are closer. Right now I go out to the ranch and teach him 3 days a week. He does the rest of it on his own.

Trying to find a house in a community of 500 people is challenging enough, but when you add a large family to the equation it makes it even more difficult. We are looking for a 4 bedroom/2 bath and there just isn't much selection in our price range. I firmly believe that God has something for us. He wouldn't ask us to move, if he wasn't wasn't going to provide. I am getting better at this "relying on God" thing. When I start to stress, I turn it over to a prayer and tell Him that I believe in Him and what He will do for our family. I am excited. I never thought we would ever move from this house. I love this house and the location. But I will be obedient and trust that this is for the best.

Please pray for us!
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