Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Waiting...


It has been a few weeks of one disappointment after another. I have been working each of them through with the Lord. I have never lived in such a "crisis" mode before. I am praying things will let up and we can try to recover. God is up to something huge, I just don't know what it is! LOL!

Our house is still on the market. We thought we were going to move, but God stopped it. We are relieved because we know God is protecting us. We are trusting that God will provide a house that is large enough for our family in the small town we are wishing to move to. I have such peace in this. It's weird. Not like me at all. Normally, you would find me fretting and begging God to move and to move in the way I think we should go. Not so this time around. I'm choosing to trust.

It is a season of adversity. I am praying for enough grace to get through each day. That's all I need. There is enough. By some miracle each day, we get through it. There are too many things in the past five weeks to even begin to go into. I don't think it would bless you even if I did have time.


Josh's OCD has been improving and he was actually able to start middle school this week. I've always homeschooled him, so it is a huge adjustment. He likes being around kids and feeling more "normal". I have woken up early every morning starting to fret over him, and God has told me clearly to pray all those worries, fears and dread back to Him. I've never relied on God to protect my children. I did it fine myself, or so I thought. Now I am truly trusting Him as I believe He has called us to this new path. It would be so much easier for me to homeschool because I would have control again. We are not called to easy right now. We are called to obedience, even when it doesn't make sense in my brain. Four of my children are in public school and one is in middle school at home via virtual academy. We are doing the bus thing, the lice thing, the friend thing, the sick thing. And you know what, it hasn't actually been that bad. I found a lot of my fears were unfounded.

My new saying is  by Oswald Chambers. It goes "For every minute we are waiting, God is working." When we continue to wait on God's promises, I must believe He is working something special out for His greater glory. If He says no right now, it is for a greater yes.

I have had a crisis point with God this last week on the topic of prayer. I have asked those questions that I know the answers to, "Does it do any good?", "Why pray if God is going to do what He wants?", "Is He testing me? Teasing me? Sifting me?" "What is going on God? Am I doing something wrong?" It all boils down to realizing that He hasn't forsaken me. He is sovereign, and He says no for a greater yes. I have stomped my foot at Him and even told Him that He hurt my feelings! I find myself thinking, He must be up there in Heaven smiling patiently waiting for my fit-throwing to stop and then He gently speaks to me and encourages me. I adjust my prayers according to His Will, not my own. I do that by surrendering my expectations of how He is going to get the greater glory. Yes, I'm even telling God how He can glorify Himself. Isn't that crazy? Adjust, wait, press in, wait and wait some more. Hold things loosely. Take my disappointments and fear to Him. He will come through in His way. He is working while we are waiting.

11 comments:

Rachel and Family said...

Just popped on...before Chapel... so glad to see your post! :):) I saw you got my texts via Elijah. It is hard to juggle everyone's schedule isn't it?! That was always the hardest for me... who's doing what with who and when. We have never had a "bad" experience with public or private school. It just is what it is. We LOOOOOVE our new schooling. It has been an adjustment and ChallenginG, but it is SO good. Praise God. You are right on to just Trust God. It is a surrender like no other.
xoxo

Anonymous said...

I needed to hear this, especially today. Thank you for the post.

Jenn said...

Tears running down my cheeks! Your faith buoys me up! Every second we are waiting, every moment we are wondering, every moment we feel we are just being idle... HE IS WORKING! YES! Thank you JESUS! You are the God of Love, Mercy, and MOVEMENT!

Cheesemakin' Mamma said...

You are the most amazing person I know and I'm blessed enough to be your twin sis! I love you more than words can say. We are all learning from you. God is big enough to handle our honesty. That is what I think is the most encouraging thing about how you react to devastation, your honesty with God. They way you work it through. I know this speaks to many out there as well as myself.

Grandma Becky said...

Good to hear from you again. Life just gives us issues and we deal with it. So glad your children are enjoying school. Will keep your house sale on our prayer list. Sorry the other one fell thru but maybe there's just something better for you and you just haven't found the right one yet. Hugs and I think of and pray for you often. Hang in there! God blessings be upon your whole family, every day!

Ma said...

If He says no right now, it is for a greater yes.

I love that. And I've also tried to tell Him how to glorify Himself...I had to chuckle at that.

Blessings to you Stacie!

Stacie, A Firefighter's Wife said...

Thank you everyone for your continued prayers. God's got it!

Love to all!
Stacie

RaD said...

Wow. Good stuff. I'm sorry you are in such a situation, but you are right. If He is saying no now, it's for a greater YES! later.

At the end of this post a song popped into my head (yep, here I go again with another song). Have you seen the movie fireproof? That song "Waiting" by Josh Waller is the one that I have in my head now. Love that song, and it fits this post!

I looked it up and you can hear it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i6X71sXagUY

Lizzy said...

Keeping you in my prayers Stacy! God IS faithful!

Anonymous said...

Stacey,

This is the best post I've ever read on your blog. Love it! The greater yes maybe the changes occuring in who you are.

heather duyck

Camille said...

Oh...the mystery of prayer. The LORD uses our prayers to further HIS causes and it is a mystery how that all works. Rest in HIM. HE truly does all things well. And yes...keep praying! HE conforms us to HIS image when we do!! Hang in there. HIS work is ongoing and it is beautiful.

Love to you!
Camille

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