Monday, August 20, 2012

Moving Past Our Devastation With God (Part 2)


This is a series, so if you are interested in reading Part One, then click here. Again, I am giving quotes out of Anointed, Transformed, and Redeemed Bible study and then my own commentary of how I am learning to move past my devastation with God.

After experiencing devastation that I didn't think I would ever be able to handle, I questioned God a lot. I was offended by Him. I knew He could have stopped my son from making the choices he made. I knew that  God could have had me open the door quicker, or check the history of my child after he was on the internet. Why didn't He? Where was He? Why did He not answer my prayers of "Do what it takes" or "if they are sinning, let them get caught" before the consequences were so horrible? Why????????????!!!!!!!!!!!! I would scream it, cry it, and finally whimper it into my pillow, wet with tears. What do you do with that kind of pain? Some of you have lost a parent or a child. Some of you have been through divorce, your parents or your own. Some of you have had loved ones who are addicted to substances, porn or food. Some of you have unrepentant prodigals. Some of you have been spiritually abused by religious parents.

When you feel offended by God's choices do you distance yourself from Him? Do you stand back, withholding yourself almost like you are punishing Him? This is what the enemy wants us to do. Instead we have to PRESS in, obey when it doesn't make sense. Praise Him when it really is a SACRIFICE.

"Jesus is the essence of spiritual, mental, and emotional health. He is wholesomeness. He is healing. Even without all the answers to my questions, He is the answer to my life. He is my wandering soul's truest quest. I cannot imagine ever leaving His side, scarred for me, even when my heart is broken by something I think He could have stopped. Should have stopped. Even if I tried to back away, He will not budge from me." -Beth Moore.

In 2 Samuel 6:12, David was reminded that another man's household was blessed because he held the Ark of the Covenant. There were blessings to be had. The presence of the Lord is the blessing. God is good and He is faithful to us, before, during and after our devastation. Sometimes there is a bigger plan that we cannot see.

"We were assigned purpose and placed within a God-created system where no pain can come to us unless it serves that exact purpose. We need to know that the events we find so baffling don't mean God has forgotten about us or forsaken us. Perhaps, if we'd stretch our hearts and minds to perceive it, He has instead trusted us." -Beth Moore

The first time I heard this, my pain was so raw I wanted to slap the person who said it to me. Are you kidding me? I've been chosen for this? Thanks a lot, God. This is not what I had in mind for a ministry. I wanted a cushy Titus 2 ministry. I thought I would be spending my days encouraging wives and mothers to love their husbands and be faithful keepers of their home. Now it seems I am barely home enough to make dinner for my family, let alone clean my house. Our lives have been so interrupted with therapy, counseling and doctor appointments, I don't even have time to homeschool. That was my dream, Lord. To teach my children to walk with you, to shield them from the world until they had a good foundation.

My heart has healed a bit since then. I have seen that God is for us and not against us. I have seen Him root out sin and heal a heart so given over to shameful desires that the "secular" therapist can't even believe the changes they have seen in my son. God is in the business of healing and redeeming.

"David then went back for the ark and took every ounce of his shaken heart to the God he'd loved since childhood. A bruised heart that chooses to beat with a passion for God amid pulsing pain and confusion may just be the most expensive offering placed on the divine alter. He esteems yours as much as He esteemed His beloved David's."-Beth Moore

My heart was shaken to the core, but what is coming out of that heart are things that I have never known to be there. Strength, grace, mercy, love, forgiveness, compassion and love. I have been given a chance to live in the Spirit. To live strength to strength, to encourage others who can only see their devastation. My shaken heart has found out that I love Jesus more than I ever thought I could. As idols and fear were stripped away, I realized I really did trust Him, and "He will never let the righteous fall".




5 comments:

Ma said...

"Cushy Titus 2 ministry"...that made me laugh:) I have a loved one going through a different in situation but similar in magnitude devastation as your family.

I have told her as well, that God has this under control and I truly believe her situation will be a ministry to others.

God bless you today, Stacie.

Catherine said...

He will never let the righteous fall, Stacie...wow; it that ever the truth!!!

Wanting What I Have said...

It is so encouraging to come here and read your words. To see you pointing to Him, giving Him the praise and the glory - and I see that it is a sacrifice. How could it be anything but. It is precious to see His gospel story coursing through your life, your veins, your family. I am thankful for you. My heart aches with and for what you are going through. We love y'all. To God be the glory!

Dayle @ A Collection of This and That said...

It's truly amazing how much we grow from tragedies, if we stay close to the Lord. The Bible study you mention sounds just wonderful.

Angel- Blessy said...

Nice blog!

Blessings!

Angel-Blessy

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