Tuesday, April 17, 2012

A New Beginning- We Are Still Standing

The Psalmist could not have put my feelings down on papyrus any better than he did in Psalm 77. I have felt this way many times throughout the past three months.

I made it a personal prayer in my journal.

"Will the Lord reject us forever? Will He ever show his favor again? has His unfailing love vanished forever? Has His promise failed for all time? Has God forgotten to be merciful? Has he in anger withheld his compassion?

Then I thought, "To this I will appeal: The years of the right hand of the most High."

I will remember the deeds of the Lord; yes, I remember Your miracles of long ago (I thought often about how You delivered the Israelites through the Red Sea). I meditated on all Your works. I clung to them Lord! I considered all of Your mighty deeds.

I found out Your ways are holy. What God is so great as our God? You are the God who performs miracles; You display the power among your peoples. With Your mighty arm You redeem Your people, Your descendants of Jacob and Joseph...

Your path, led through the sea, Your way through the MIGHTY waters. Though Your footprints were not seen. Oh Lord, I could not see Your footprints. I couldn't see what You were doing, yet I trusted You. Without a word, you fought our battle. You will restore us. You will heal us.

I feel like I have been on the verge of drowning. Every now and then, I would get to the surface to gasp enough air for the next round under the waves. Today, my head feels like it is above the water for good. I feel no fear, only trust in a God whose ways are not our ways. I know God will redeem this situation if we let it. I know that my children will come to know Him even better because of what we have been through.

I sat through a worship service last Sunday and it was the first one in three months that I didn't sob the whole way through the music. God is healing our hearts and if we let Him, He will use our situation to warn others about the addictive nature of pornography.

Satan has tried to destroy our family, but it will come back on his head a thousand times over. What He meant for evil, God will turn into good.

Please watch your kids. Don't assume that just because they are homeschooled that they would not look up porn. Just because they don't have an I-Phone, or they have all Christian friends and activities, doesn't mean they are not curious. Curiosity can lead into a full-blown addiction. We had no idea. The consequences of this addiction are enormous. Because of some of the choices my son has made, he will no longer be able to live with us. We are grateful to my father and stepmother who have taken him in. He will be starting a treatment program soon and we have high hopes that he will have the motivation to complete it. We have had to let go of raising our son at the tender age of 13. Never in my wildest dreams could I have imagined it, yet this is our reality.

If you have been in a similar situation and would like to talk about it you can email me privately.

Truth was revealed. God will not allow sin to continue if you continue to pray for it to be rooted out. I prayed those hard prayers for my kids. "Do what it takes". The pain and cost of it was more than I could have ever imagined. But now God can use it in a mighty way. To warn others so that the church will be called to repentence and obedience. For there will be no revival without those two things. If we continue in our sin, then we are white-washed tombs. Decaying on the inside, beautiful on the outside. Let it not be said of us! Let us meet this challenge head-on, so that we do not lose this generation for the Lord.

15 comments:

Wanting What I Have said...

Sweet Stacie,
My heart aches for y'all and we love you. I am so thankful that God loves us enough to root out our sin, to expose it, to shine His light in the darkness and depths of our depravity, that He gave His only Son to bare the shame and to pay the price. I am thankful for His redemption. And I am amazed by your vulnerability. I pray we will not lose this generation - that we will fight for the hearts and souls of our children - and I know you will touch so many lives by sharing what you've shared. Because pornography has rent asunder so many families...mine included. Thank you. We are praying for you.

Farmgirl Cyn said...

Bless your heart, Stacie. Deep breaths...and setting your hand to the plow, not looking back.
My 2nd born daughter left her husband because of porn. When there was no repentance, she felt she had no choice. Praise God there is deliverance....
I will continue to pray for you and yours.
In Christ alone,
Cindy

Nadine said...

Dear Stacie,

I cannot even begin to imagine what you and your family are going through, but I do know that God knows and will guide you through this!
Please know that I shall continue to pray for your family!

Blessings!
~Nadine

Ma said...

I can not imagine what a trial you have been through. And what a sobering message and warning for all of us: especially those of us who think we are away from the "world".

Bless you sister, I pray and hope for complete restoration for all involved.

Trina said...

WOW! We are sending prayers for healing for your family. You are a strong enough family that your love and faith will get you through!!

Peace, love and healing...

Ellie Rae said...

Praying for your family. What a world we live in. My sympathies for you and your family. We all do the best we can for our children, as you did, but they have their own sinful natures to contend with, as we all do. Huggs.

Ellie Rae said...

Praying for your family. What a world we live in. My sympathies for you and your family. We all do the best we can for our children, as you did, but they have their own sinful natures to contend with, as we all do. Huggs.

Ellie Rae said...

I would be happy to e-mail. My e-mail is on my blog.

Camille said...

Precious friend...the LORD is in this storm. HE indeed answers those hard prayers of a Mama's heart. HE will walk this path with you and will use your story in more ways than you may know. HE will be glorified and HE will do all things for your good and the good of your family. These are dreadfully hard things, and yet, HE will give you daily the grace you all need. One step at a time. Please know that I am praying for you...God hears and answers. Much love to you!
Camille xo

Grandma Becky said...

Such a witness, my friend. You have clung to God in this time of uncertainty and let God be your anchor that is holding in the storm of life. So glad that you have God's mercy and strength. My continued prayers for your family and take care.

...they call me mommy... said...

(((HUGS))), Stacie. Thank you for your continued faithfulness to the Lord in the midst of heart-wrenching circumstances.

Jenn said...

Stacie, I can't thank you enough for sharing this with us. It is something we all need to hear. I cannot express how my heart feels right now since I have two teenage boys. Please just know that I am praying for you.

"So do not fear for I am with you, do not be dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will uphold you in my righteous right hand." Isa 41:10

Stacie, A Firefighter's Wife said...

Thank you, ladies for your support. You are blessing me beyond words.

Thank you for encouraging me so much.

I love you all!

Robin said...

Oh honey! I just did my catch-up blod reading today. I had no idea you were struggling with such terribly hard things.
Will be praying for all of you

Beth said...

Lifting you, your family and Josh up in prayer. Our God is a God of miracles. May he restore Josh and help him to become a faithful man.

With Love, Beth

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