(From the Archives)
Do you ever find yourself taking what your children say to you personally? I find that sometimes I have a really hard time forgiving my children over particular offenses. Especially when they say things like "You hate me!" or "I hate this house!" Those words can make me see RED!!! The book, Good and Angry addresses this very issue.
Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller say this, “Forgiving children doesn’t mean we ignore offenses. Rather, forgiveness opens the door for significant confrontation to take place. Instead of taking the offense personally, you release the emotional intensity so that you can help a child develop character. The fact of the matter is that most kids don’t appreciate the correction and the amazing patience we have as parents. But the lack of gratefulness we receive in this job of parenting doesn’t lessen our task. We must continually correct our kids while looking for ways to do it that they can accept. Plan your comments and present the critique in constructive and gracious ways. Forgiveness frees you from harshness and allows for controlled, consistent training to take place. Tolerance is easier when you don’t have accumulated frustration. Forgiveness allows you to release offenses instead of saving them up.”
I love that! If I’m not emotional about every situation because I’ve taken it personally, I will be less likely to “blow my top” when misbehavior does happen. Instead of trying to control my children with my anger, I will instead be purposeful in my training techniques.
I want to develop this lifestyle of forgiveness. The only way I can do that is through intentional prayer and walking in The Spirit.
Remember that dealing with annoying behavior in children requires a huge amount of patience and forgiveness. They are still on the “assembly line”, they are not adults and yet we expect them to display adult-like maturity at all times. Children will make mistakes and they will NOT always respond well to correction. Mostly, change comes slowly. This gives us many opportunities to practice forgiveness over and over and over again!
From One Mom to Another,