Tuesday, October 4, 2011
When Your Husband Reproofs You
How you respond to your husband's reproof is a reflection of your desire to become more godly. Begin with considering his reproof to be, at the least, possibly valid. Next, consider the following right ways to respond to reproof.
The Right Way to Respond to Reproof...
1. Take the time to think about what you have been told.
The heart of the righteous ponder how to answer, but the mouth of the wicked pours out evil things. -Proverbs 15:28
2. Search the Scriptures to determine what the sin is and how to "put it off."
...lay aside the old self, which is being corrupted in accordance with the lusts of deceit, and that you be renewed in the spirit of your mind, and put on the new self...-Ephesians 4:22-24
3. Ask your husband husband to give specific examples of how you could have better responded to his reproof.
4. Confess your sin.
5. Show the fruit of repentance. Stop doing the sin and start doing the right thing.
6. Do not justify or defend yourself.
If you know that your husband's reproof is valid or even partially valid then heed his advice and change your sinful way.
Listen and learn from the reproof. Think, "What is God trying to teach?" Learn to see each other's reproofs from God's perspective and be grateful that your husband is telling his complaint instead of clamming up and becoming embittered because of your sin.
Taken from the "Excellent Wife" by Martha Pierce.
As I read this passage, I was so convicted. I couldn't believe that she was challenging me to actually be GRATEFUL for my husband for getting after me. I am always defensive, thinking that his sins are so much worse than mine. I have a very bad habit of disregarding anything he has to say to me if he does not do it gently or humbling.
After reading this section, I had the opportunity to put this into practice. My husband was upset at me for something and instead of getting defensive, I actually stopped, took a deep breath and listened (can you hear the angels singing?). I thought through what he was saying and examined it to see if there was any truth to it. I found that there was. I stopped thinking about all the things that he wasn't doing right and stopped to worry about me. I apologized and told him that now that I am aware of the problem, I will try not to do it. We even came up with some strategies for change. Because I was open to change, I was able to say some hard stuff to him. We both grew that day!
Next will be "Guidelines for Reproving Your Husband". So stay tuned!