Saturday, October 2, 2010

He Does What It Takes

Dear Mothers,


Some of you may know that I have been struggling for the past four or five months with a very hoarse voice. It has been quite painful and it makes me sound like I have a frog in my throat all the time. I was just diagnosed with nodules on my vocal cords, which is a fancy way of saying I have “calluses on my vocal cords.”

It has interfered with my life in many ways. I can’t sing, I can’t read very many stories out loud to my children and I struggle lecturing the children when I’m homeschooling. The thing that does keep me encouraged is the fact that I know God does not waste pain. This has become very evident with a few things He has been teaching me.

The first thing I learned is that even though I knew I had come a long ways in the area of not raising my voice at my children, I still wasn’t doing good enough. It was as if God was saying, “No more! You are in a bad habit and if you can’t break it, I love you enough to help you break it for good.” So, He took away my voice. I literally cannot raise my voice in the slightest without wincing in pain. This has forced me to stop being lazy and go find my children instead of testing to see if they are within yelling distance!

When I’m angry, I need to stand or kneel in front of them, take their face in my hands and lower my voice on purpose so as not to strain my voice. I am actually thanking God for this habit-breaking affliction!

The second thing that has been affected by this malady is my worship. I am learning for the first time how to worship the Lord without singing. Singing praises to God has always been my prevalent form of worship. Instead I find myself entering into a whole new place in my worship. I am reminded of the song lyrics, “When the music fades and all is stripped away, and I simply come.” Without the distraction of whether or not I am hitting the right notes, I am forced to completely and utterly focus on the words. I can truly come into a place where I am worshipping Him in Spirit and in Truth. It has been an incredible experience. I can literally feel the Spirit of God wash over me as I silently, but intentionally worship before Him. I pray that when I do get my voice back, I will be able to mesh all of this together.

The third lesson I’m learning is to choose my words wisely. I need to “let my words be few”. I am continuing to refine my speech patterns by being “slow to speak, quick to listen and slow to become angry.” Not an easy task!

Isn’t God amazing? All these years I’ve known these to be some of my greatest weaknesses. I’ve prayed hard and long for God to do what it takes to root these bad habits out of my life. I never thought He would have to give me nodules on my vocal cords to do it.

The only way these will go away is by changing my vocal patterns and to not yell (ever). I will relearn how to speak and sing in a way that will not strain my voice.

I challenge you to do a self-inspection. What bad behaviors or habits have you just not been able to fully change? Jim Cymbale writes, “God is attracted to weakness. He can’t resist those who humbly and honestly admit how desperately they need Him.”

Are you willing for Him to do what it takes?

From One Mom to Another,

17 comments:

Trisha said...

What a beautiful account of His goodness to us! So often I've prayed for deliverance from different sins, and He rarely works in my heart in the ways I think He should.:) (So thankful for that!) Truly, He knows the perfect way to sanctify us. This must be a hard time for you, and yet, what a blessing to your children to see you glorify Him in the midst of the struggle. Praying for the healing of your vocal cords.

His bondservant said...

Stacie,

I can SO relate to this post. God is teaching me so very much through my illnesses as well. It is amazing that sometimes in the deepest valleys, we have our greatest visions of His goodness to us. Still praying for your recovery.

Blessings,
Jackie

Camille said...

How wonderful this post is Stacie! How precious that you see the LORD's hand in it all! HE is so gracious with us, isn't HE? May HE continue to give you HIS grace throughout this time. AND may HE heal you completely in HIS perfect time!

Blessings to you!
In His Love,
Camille

Jennifer said...

Hey there....thank you so much for this post! What an honor to know the Lord adores us enough to be so creative in finding ways to draw us to him. thank you for sharing. And...I love Fresh Wind Fresh Fire....just finished that book and that quote is in there! I will think about all of these things for myself as well.

Rachel and Family said...

Perfecto devotion, Stacie!!! I'm so glad I stopped by to read this! "God does not waste pain"-- how very true. Sometimes lessons are painful aren't they!? Nevertheless... I am praying for your voice to come back. When I lost mine for so long I kept recalling Zechariah who was made mute because of his disbelief. I'm quite sure that's why I lost mine, as the Lord kept bringing that to mind. I was using my voice to pick away at my faith instead of uphold it.

Better get back upstairs, my "quick" check on the computer has turned into 15 mins already! Dinner might be burning!

Catherine said...

Thank you for sharing and thank you for the challenge, Stacie. I'm taking a PRD next Friday and will ask what the LORD wants me to work on/change/leave behind BEFORE He gives me some hard lesson. I love you for going ahead of us in this manner, darlin'!

Muthering Heights said...

It's wonderful that you are able to discern the lessons in this painful experience...few people would be able to see past the discomfort!

Nama said...

Thank you so much for sharing this. It is so encouraging and uplifting. I love your attitude, transparency & honesty. These are areas I struggle with as well. I lost my voice for nearly a week last month and it helped me in tremendous ways, to learn to stop, realize that I can't so much as make my own heart beat....I have not the power & therefore, what is the point about getting upset about things I have no control over. When it comes down to it, the only time I yell is when I feel a loss of control. It helped so much to have to be quiet & to have to think about what I am feeling in each situation where I struggle with yelling or saying things I shouldn't. It helped so much to get to the bottom of the problem. It's not perfect yet, but as you just attested to, God always sticks with us & helps us to grow and change, no matter what it takes. Blessings to you & many thanks. You are in my thoughts and prayers. (((hugs))))

Cheesemakin' Mamma said...

I know this is going to speak to others just as it has spoken to me. So excited that you are able to sing a tiny bit now!

Jasmine said...

Stacie, what a fantastic truth of how God answers prayer. Not always the way we think, but always for our good.

What a blessing to read you going down to your child's level and taking their face in your hands and speaking softly to them. We all need to do this.

You truly moved me with this post.

Thank you so much.

Warmest regards,

Jasmine

OurLilFullFam said...

He gets the glory through our weaknesses doesn't He?


Stephanie

Mich said...

Beautiful post of how God is working in your life. Love it! Hope you continue to heal.

HAve a beautiful week!

Jill said...

This is a wonderful post... so personal... I hope your voice is feeling better soon. God does work in mysterious ways doesn't he;-)
Have a wonderful day!
Blessings,
Jill

Amy said...

Thank you for sharing.

I am working thru some pain as we are going thru memories that are hurtful in our church study. This has been very hard and painful for me.

I know that God is using this pain to change me. He has so much he wants to do with me. I have to let the old die away.

I actually joined a new church and am going to be baptized again. It was done when I was a child, but I choose to do it now.

God bless and I hope that the healing comes soon.

Love ya

Jessica said...

There are so many ways He can teach us! Thank you for sharing so openly. I've been sorta MIA in blog-reading, but so love following yours and will try to do better. Since our baby was born, I have a new site and I'd love for you to read there and comment as you'd like on any post or ask any questions. ♥ www.hisheartmyhands.blogspot.com

Tamra said...

It's funny how He answers our prayers, isn't it? :) Friends warned me, don't pray for patience or He'll give you something that will REALLY teach you patience. So, thinking I can outwit, I prayed specifically for "patience with my children". I ended up called to teach in Primary at church. Nothin' like teaching 80 kids each week to teach ya patience. lol! :) Guess I got exactly what I asked for. :) Thnx for your always uplifting message and attitude!

Momof5 said...

Oh Stacie, I am so sorry you are having to deal with this. What an amazing outlook on worship, though. You are such an inspiration. I remember dealing with nodules in my thyroid a couple of years ago and the possibility of cancer and possibly losing the ability to worship with singing. It's a hard reality and you are approaching it with such grace. God bless your throat girlie! I will pray for you and your doctors and your healing. God bless you!

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