Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Keep Your Head in The Game

Keep Your Head in The Game

Dear Mothers,

I have a confession to make. For the past few months I have lost my focus. I have been learning about godly mothering by reading books, blogs, magazines and talking with other mothers. I have been trying to learn more about some new stages that we are entering into with my two older boys. I have struggled with their bad attitudes; nasty speech, arguing and what appear to be lots of hormonal rages (not just theirs!). It has been very difficult.

Because of all the nastiness that has been happening around here, I found ways to escape. My first choice was the computer. I can get lost reading all the blogs that I try to follow. I found that even though I was present in my home, I’m was not engaged. My mind was elsewhere. My head was not “in the game”. Yes, I was busy encouraging and ministering, but I was doing it to everyone BUT my own family.

The children’s physical needs were being met, but I was not loving, teaching and nurturing them on a level that I should have been doing. I had found myself so distracted by other things that I was missing what I needed to be doing that was right in front of me (serving my husband and children).

Many mothers have forms of escapes when they are feeling overwhelmed, under-appreciated and mentally exhausted with the demands of motherhood. Some ways we distract ourselves can be: reading novels, watching talk-shows, talking on the phone (even when we are at the park supposedly watching our children play), texting, Facebooking, blogging, Twittering, alcohol, and over-eating. By escaping we avoid the things we should be dealing with. For me it could be my messy house, screaming/bickering children and a mountain of laundry. Instead of looking for God’s stimulation (going to His Word) or praying, I go everywhere else but there.

We need to constantly be asking God for balance. We have a limited time with our children (18 years give or take with each child). We have a huge responsibility to train and nurture these children in the admonition of the Lord. In order to keep our “head in the game” we need to stay focused on God’s precepts, which are true and holy. Let us not give up when we grow weary! Let us press towards the goal that God has set before us! Let us long for the prize of children who will “love the Lord their God with all their hearts, souls and minds.”

Don’t escape, instead press towards God and dig deeper and deeper into His Word as you seek the answers that only He can give you. His wisdom is perfect, are you willing to listen? I want be intentional and not drift through my mothering years, missing the blessings that He longs to give me.

From One Mom to Another,

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Catherine said...

You go girl! We do battle together today.

Deb said...

Love this post Stacie. I have struggled with this so much in my year and a half journey called blogging and am thankful that God brought me to a point that woke me up and set me back on the track of what truly matters. I believe God can and does use our blogging to speak to other women, but there is nothing more valuable than going to the Word for our needs!
Have a blessed day!

Stacie, A Firefighter's Wife said...

I love that Angela, "Jesus gave me the best". You are so right! How can I give him any less?

Love you all!

Kimberly said...

Sounds like it's time for outdoor chores and extra jobs for your boys! When my boys were about 10, they were driving me nuts, they suddenly had a gleem in their eyes, they were goofy and lacking direction for their new found energy.(horomones racing around their little bodies), we didn't have the fighting issues, I think since they are twins, fortunately they haven't developed the sharp tongue that big sis had (and still shares once in a while). The answer chores! That gave the energy direction and purpose. As far as the sharp tongue, losing priviliges worked for our oldest daughter, she spent a few Youth group nights at home in her teen years, because of that tongue. See youth group was a "social" event for her so it was very dear to her heart- missing that was a big thing for her. It's about finding that "thing" they hold close and reminding them that it is a privilidge and not a right. I do not like feeling overwhelmed, this week has been trying, more on the end of keeping up with my jobs, rather than disciplining children though.

Rosemi said...

Stacy, thank you for this post. I am not alone. As long as we reveal our shame before God and eachother, the enemy can not prevail. Together we will fight the enemy. Amen

RaD said...

Wow! You hit the nail square on the head there didn't you?!

kathy said...

Thats so true Stacie. I struggle with finding the balance. I need some 'me time' too but I need to make sure I am a mum first! I have a sign up in my house that reads
"I am more than just a mother, I am more than just a wife, I am a princess of the King!". I guess if we always put him first we can't go wrong! I pray you find peace in it all :)
oh and I am also having the older two boys fight and have some bad attitude. I may try giving them some extra chores and see if that helps. I don't think I get them to do enough here as sometimes it's too much effort to make them :(

redeemed diva said...

Stacie, this was the best post I've read on your blog. So authentic and so real. We've all been there and it's a wake up call for me too. I slip in and out of keeping my head in the game. Thanks! And blessings to you

Grandma Becky said...

Any one of us can fight with our loved ones. My adult daughter, who lives with us,and I can get upset at each other but it all works out. I just remember not to stay mad/upset at her for long. My mom used to do that to me and I detested it. Keep your eyes on the Lord and listen to his voice and you will do well, my sister in Christ! Hugs!

OurLilFullFam said...

Convicting words Stacie!! Thank-you!


Sarah said...

Great post Stacie!

We started to get bad attitude and hormonal mood swings from our ten year old daughter last year, we tackled it as a united front and tried to be as consistent with 'consequences' as possible. Although we still occasionally have 'run-ins' with her it has become much smoother.

I think that God has also used our daughter, to show me areas in my mothering that needed attention...and our family has benefitted as a result.

God Bless

Mich said...

From one mom and wife to another...great words.

Cheesemakin' Mamma said...

Great reminder! In fact, it reminds me to GET OFF HERE!!! I know a lot of people are going to identify with this. Love you, Sis!

Ellen said...

absolutely wonderful post!! I tell you...I have escaped many times by reading...chatting on the phone(even if it was with was for 2 hours)and getting frustrated overall....digging deeper toward the Lord who blessed me with my family is the only answer.

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