There has been a proverbial theme running through my life lately. God wants to refine my communication skills with my husband, children, family and friends. That pretty much sums up everyone in my life! My Bible study is called, “Conversation Peace: The Power of Transformed Speech” by Mary Kassian. I am finding treasures untold in this study!
I’m going to dive right in here. What does communication really mean? It comes from the Greek word “koinnia” which means, “to share, partake, have fellowship with, to join together.” It is used in Hebrews 13:15-16 “Through Jesus therefore, let us continually offer to God a sacrifice of praise-the fruit of lips that confess his name. And do not forget to do good and to share (communicate) with others, for with such sacrifices God is pleased.” According to this verse, I “share” when I give to others. It is a “sacrifice” because the focus is not on myself but on the other person. In true communication, I am more interested in understanding than being understood, in listening than being listened to, and in giving than getting. I am less interested in ME and more interested in YOU.
I am very guilty of not listening to my husband and children long enough to hear their WHOLE story. I think I know what they are going to say, stop listening and instead I am thinking of what I am going to say (if I haven’t interrupted them already). This is not showing honor or love to my family. Instead, I need to let them FINISH, PAUSE, then SAY back to them what I think they have said. That is called “decoding the message”.
For example: My son starts to argue with me because I find the toilet hasn’t been cleaned properly. Instead of freaking out at him and start my accusations (which in turn causes defensiveness and sometimes an automatic lie), I need to bring him in to the bathroom, show him the toilet and ask him if he thought that this job was well done. If he starts to give his excuses, I need to listen, let him finish his thought, and then say, “What I hear you saying is this…” So much conflict can be resolved this way. Don’t stop giving consequences, instead listen more!
I have found that arguing happens when a person in our family thinks they haven’t been heard. We are working on listening better and not assuming the other person’s motives are evil. Yes, I said WORKING, because this takes a lot of work. It is a process and it starts with me, because I can only change me. Even though I think I’m a “mind-reader”, God is assuring me that I am not. Ouch!!!
So my challenge to you ladies is to speak less, listen more, try to remain calm and pray for lots of wisdom from our Heavenly Father! He promises to give it abundantly.
"Show me your way , oh Lord, teach me Your paths; guide me in Your truth and teach me for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in You all day long." -Psalm 25:4-5 My Mission for this BLOG is to bring glory to God as I share what He is teaching me as I raise my children for Him. I want to encourage mothers all around the world to hang in there! Motherhood is tough, challenging and gritty. But through Christ's strength and the support of other moms who are in the trenches, I will keep pressing towards the goal to raise Godly children. Please feel free to leave comments. It blesses me so much! You can also email me at email@example.com
I am a Stay-At-Home mother of six children. We LOVE having a large family. My first love, is Christ and the Words of the Bible. My passion is to teach my children about the Lord. I love to watch my children discover their own faith in God. My husband has been a firefighter for over 20 years and is now an officer. I am very proud of him. I long to be a Titus 2 woman who encourages other women to love their husbands and children and to thrive in their homes, not just survive.
The noblest calling in the world is that of a mother. True motherhood is the most beautiful of all arts, the greatest of all professions. She who can paint a masterpiece or who can write a book that will influence millions deserves the plaudits and admiration of mankind; but she who rears successfully a family of healthy, beautiful sons and daughters whose immortal souls will be exerting an influence throughout the ages long after paintings shall have faded, and books and statues shall have been destroyed, deserves the highest honor that man can give. -David O. McKay Motherhood is the one thing in all the world which most truly exemplifies the God-given virtues of creating and sacrficing. Though it carries the woman close to the brink of death, motherhood also leads her into the very realm of the fountians of life and makes her co-partner with the Creator in bestowing upon eternal spirits mortal life. -David O McKay We can't form our children on our own concepts; we must take them and love them as God gives them to us. -Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Lo, children are a heritage of the Lord; and the fruit of the womb is his reward. -Psalm 127:3 The mother's heart is the child's schoolroom -Henry Ward Beecher The art of mothering is to teach the art of living to children. -Elaine Heffner People who say they sleep like babies usually don't have them. -Leo J. Burke
To be a mother is a woman's greatest vocation in life. She is a partner with God. No being has a position of such power and influence. She holds in her hands the destiny of nations, for to her comes the responsibility and opportunity of molding the nation's citizens. -Spencer W. Kimball