Saturday, February 6, 2010

Saturday's Musings

This week seemed to go by so quickly. Lots of activities, lots of sick kids , lots of tears and lots of fun! After coming back from scrapbook camp, I was faced with a mountain of laundry, I didn't get caught up until Wednesday. Friday night was so wonderful! My friends, Toni (mother of four) and Rachel (mother of 5) came over and we had our informal "Mom's of Many" chat night. We all agreed ahead of time that we would only chat from 7:30 p.m. till 10:30. We were all shocked when we looked at the clock and it was almost 12:00 a.m.! Rachel and I are starting to experience some teenage stuff, and Toni is walking the path now, so we peppered her with lots of questions, encouraged each other in our marriages and swapped some funny stories. LOVED IT!!!!!!!!
Today, Rachel, Paul and the whole family came over for lunch. I made a simple meat dip and served it with chips and applesauce. She brought dessert and we chatted for another three hours! It is so great when your husbands get along. I know we are blessed! The kids played outside and even were jumping on the trampoline in the rain! I have actually lost my voice from talking so much. Not good, because I'm supposed to be singing a solo tomorrow at church. My children are probably wondering why I'm being really quiet now! LOL!

Lily is walking everywhere now. It is so fun to watch and cheer her on. She is still so tiny, it's amazing that someone so small can be walking around so well. Jacob is still trying to pee off and on in the toilet. He has no interest whatsoever is pooping in the darn thing, but that's OK.

I've had a roller coaster week, emotionally. I've been experiencing more healing, as more things have come up from my parents divorce. It feels like God has ripped a giant band aid off my heart and took his scouring sponge and went to work. The wound was raw and open, but now that the air has been let in, I am starting to truly heal. It is extremely painful, but very encouraging to know that I am moving forward in this area. I want to get to a place of true forgiveness. I am shocked that I still had baggage after 20 years. It goes to show that the consequences from a traumatic event in a child's life, has a lasting effect. That reason alone, makes me want to work at my marriage with a new fervor. I want the best marriage I can possibly have. That takes work and the determination beyond what I can do on my own. We are two sinful people, with two completely different upbringings. If you look at it that way, marriage is truly a miracle.

The only thing I think I can say right now is this:

Keep working at it ladies! Don't give up. Let God heal.

Love you all!
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17 comments:

Wylie @ Shout A Joyful Noise! said...

Praise the Lord!!! God bless you...
Wylie

Cat said...

Your 'musings' are almost as good as a phone conversation. I, too, had a Girls Night Out last night, but this one ended earlier than usual. I don't know how you did lunch for a bunch after having been up so late! Your Lily Pie is so darn cute! I'm glad you realize how important your marriage is too, Stacie. We need to honor the gifts that the LORD has given us in our husbands.

RaD said...

I agree, marriage takes a lot of work, but is so worth it. Not only for our sakes but our children's. Divorce is such an ugly thing and no one wins. Period.

Rachel and Family said...

I love our time together. You are such a precious woman.

Mich said...

I love the musing and rambling posts the most...that is where hearts are shared.

Rachel and Family said...

Oh boy, I can be quite stubborn in some areas. I really like your devotion.

Rachel and Family said...

liked

Camie said...

Hello! I'm so glad I found your blog! I'm totally enjoying reading it! Are you also on the Sonlight forum? Many blessings to you!

Camie

Anonymous said...

Cute picture of Lily and the fireman's hat. I just really want to see you, Aunt Stacie. I want to see Lily. I want to see Jessica. I want to see Jacob. Hey, Jacob's birthday is just a couple weeks away. I want to see Joshua. I want to see Marcus. I want to see Uncle Steve. I want to see Andrew. I want to see your whole family.

Love Your Nephew,
Josiah

Cheesemakin' Mamma said...

How'd you like Josiah's comment. Cute, huh? I wrote it word for word.

Lily is adorable.

So glad you had such a great time with your friends. What a blessing to have these women of larger families there to encourage you and you them.

I'm feel better today, not as raw. I'm praying you're feel the same. I've been sleeping a lot better. All the stuff we went through last week, sure made me understand you at an even deeper level than I thought possible. I love you, Sis, and I'm so glad I've never had to go through this "stuff" alone.

Love,
Jackie

Rosemi said...

I first saw your article in Above Rubies. It sure blessed me. Thank you for commenting on my blog. You are an example to me.

jlgoinggreen said...

You are a wonderful wife and mother. Keep up the good work.

J said...

My breath caught in my throat when I read that the Lord has taken to scouring your heart...and bringing healing regarding your parents' divorce. Mine divorced almost two years ago and my heart is heavy and raw with pain regarding their divorce. I am so sad about it. I think about it every single day. Yes, it makes me want to work at my marriage even harder! And it puts a lump in my throat most days. I can't even speak about it without crying. (I'm teary now.) I know God can heal...forgiveness is so hard. I think I've forgiven, and then I realize I have not. Oh the pain. It. Is. So. Hard. My dad keeps going like he's never missed a beat. He wants us to all be together for every holiday and birthday, etc. My sisters and I are like, "no. It hurts too bad. We aren't a whole family anymore. It's broken. Gone." Ugh. I'm rambling now. It's just so incredibly hard. I don't think it matters how old you are - it is awful. With all the work we've been doing in our home, I've found myself sorting through old stuff...and I found a fill in the blank book I'd filled out when I was in the third grade. One of the questions was, "My family is different because..." and I wrote in: "because...my parents won't ever get a divorce." When I read that page, I wept. I'll be praying for you, and I would love your prayers in this regard, as well.

Stacie, A Firefighter's Wife said...

Oh, Jen. As I read your post, my heart broke all over again. I know that raw pain so well. It is dibilitating and it ruins your security in your family and parents. The consequences are profound and yet it seems like the people who inflicted them, just want to move on with their lives and think you should be able to as well. That is what I wanted my mom to know. You can move on. You have a new husband, a new job, and new life. My past is my past, I can't change it, I can't "move on" like that. It effects my children, not just me. I have to explain why they have three sets of grandparents, why I have pictures of my mom and dad together up to a certian point in my life. Half of my growing up years is when they were together, the other half is when they were apart. It is difficult and painful when they ask questions which they are naturally going to do. That is what I mean is that it still effects and there are still reprecussions no matter how much you wish they weren't. I think my mom finally "got that" this time. She recognized that I was sort of "stuck" and hadn't worked through much of it because of her enability to not take responsibility for her actions. She did that this weekend. She claimed it all and it was sooooo healing and I am so grateful that the pain that has always been there is not so intense. I think I can finally start to come to grips with the past and hopefully not become bitter and angry about it all the time. I want a closer relationship with my mom and I know she does with me. I think we are finally on the right road and I credit God for that.

Last weekend, I cried so hard in front of my mom, I thought I would fall to the floor and collapse. It was that intense. It needed to happen and I think she needed to see the pain, instead of me always trying to hide it.

I'll pray for you Jen. I'm glad I'm not the only one who is hurting when it comes to this kind of stuff. Love ya!

Sarah said...

Stacie, thank you for being courageous enough to write so pesonally about your parents divorce; that must have been so hard for you all. Bless you all for talking and healing together. I pray that you are soon feeling some closure and peace.

God Bless

Angela said...

Can I say I am SO in love!!! Oh my goodness that little wee one has melted my heart. I care for one that is named Lily in my home daycare too. Your daughter is just so precious.Just to think that we ARE precious in our Lord God's sight makes me stand in awe of His love..Your right,,healing DOES come...

Heal us oh Lord and we will be healed. Save us oh Lord and we will be saved, for You are the One we praise. amen amen amen

My 13 year old is in the 'teen' stage. awww. the joys....I have a 20 year old and 17 year old..both boys,,now I'm going through it with a daughter..Praise God each time I say her name, Shaneah, it reminds me,,'God's graciousness'..that is the meaning of her name...Blessings sweet one.

Stacie, A Firefighter's Wife said...

Angela, those kind words mean so much to me. It has been a pleasure meeting you!

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