Friday, February 19, 2010

The Dogfight is On!

"Conversation Peace: The Power of Transformed Speech" is the Bible study that I have been doing. It has been incredibly challenging, more so than I thought it would be.

"Unfortunately, conflicts are often like dogfights. Instead of resolving the conflict honestly and openly, parties engage in aggressive and defensive behavior. Fighting behavior falls under three dog-like categories: rollover, hide and bite.

Do you find yourself in one of these categories?

ROLLOVER RETRIEVER: Whenever faced with conflict, the Rollover Retriever chooses a passive way of protecting herself. She rolls over and gives in to the other person's opinions and desires, rationalizing or resenting the face that she has rolled over. If she rationalizes, she blames herself for the problem and/or excuses the other person's behavior. If she resents complying, she is motivated to strike back. So she retaliates in a subversive manner, attacking the underbelly by resisting, procrastinating, maligning, and/or undermining her opponent-a passive-aggressive method of dealing with conflict.

HIDING HOUND: When She feels threatened, the Hiding Hound puts up or seeks out barriers to hide behind-mental, emotional, or physical withdrawal. The silent treatment and walking out are two common behaviors. Hiding Hounds may be punitive and vindictive. This hound withdraws, but from her protected position she seeks to punish the other person. She withholds information, or betrays, gossips, slanders, and baits her opponent. Her goal is to stay hidden and protected while injuring the other.

BITING BULLDOG: She bites, snarls, and openly attacks her opponents. Yelling, accusing, swearing, screaming, berating, and belittling are common behaviors. Biting Bulldogs do not hesitate to go for the jugular. An attack bulldog walks around looking for a fight. She is the instigator. She strikes first. A defensive bulldog does not normally bite unless someone bites her first. But if bitten, she fiercely retaliates. Dog fighting does little or nothing to resolve issues. In fact, it often escalates the conflict."

If you want to learn more about how to "fight clean" check out this devotion I wrote several years ago called, "Fighting Clean". It might be of encouragement to you. This is something I struggle with. Conflict is going to happen, the way I deal with it is the constant challenge.


Sarah said...

Stacie, I really needed your post today. I must confess that before I claimed Christ, I would have self diagnosed myself as a 'Biting Bulldog'! Our Lord is gently but firmly molding me into the woman He wants me to be. I find it VERY difficult to hold my tongue at times, especially if I think I have been wronged in some way; see how I focus on how I FEEL! I very much enjoyed reading your linked devotional: Fighting Clean. I will go on trying to fight the good fight! Thank you Stacie!

God Bless

Cat said...

With the help of the Word, you and Margaret,and my sister Margy, I am doing much better at communicating than before. I've played all those roles at one time or another. I recall your Fighting Clean devotion too, and I'll re-look at it. Thanks, Stacie!

Mich said...

You have been having some great posts lately, with a lot of wisdom.

Thanks for sharing!

Amy said...

OOOOooo Hiding Hound is me!!!!

I don't like conflict and I leave and go somewhere and feel bad.

Thanks for the post today. Very informative.

Have a blessed day.

Michelle (She Looketh Well) said...

Hi Stacie, I lost your email ;-( I just wanted you to know that I have been praying for you and the Lord has put you on my heart several times in the last couple of days. I mean, like your name comes flooding to the front of my mind!

Also, did you ask me about a button for your blog. I am sorry, my mind is in a fog lately, I am not doing well physically. Let me know, maybe email me so I can put your address in my address book, okay? Love ya

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