"Conversation Peace: The Power of Transformed Speech" is the Bible study that I have been doing. It has been incredibly challenging, more so than I thought it would be.
"Unfortunately, conflicts are often like dogfights. Instead of resolving the conflict honestly and openly, parties engage in aggressive and defensive behavior. Fighting behavior falls under three dog-like categories: rollover, hide and bite.
Do you find yourself in one of these categories?
ROLLOVER RETRIEVER: Whenever faced with conflict, the Rollover Retriever chooses a passive way of protecting herself. She rolls over and gives in to the other person's opinions and desires, rationalizing or resenting the face that she has rolled over. If she rationalizes, she blames herself for the problem and/or excuses the other person's behavior. If she resents complying, she is motivated to strike back. So she retaliates in a subversive manner, attacking the underbelly by resisting, procrastinating, maligning, and/or undermining her opponent-a passive-aggressive method of dealing with conflict.
HIDING HOUND: When She feels threatened, the Hiding Hound puts up or seeks out barriers to hide behind-mental, emotional, or physical withdrawal. The silent treatment and walking out are two common behaviors. Hiding Hounds may be punitive and vindictive. This hound withdraws, but from her protected position she seeks to punish the other person. She withholds information, or betrays, gossips, slanders, and baits her opponent. Her goal is to stay hidden and protected while injuring the other.
BITING BULLDOG: She bites, snarls, and openly attacks her opponents. Yelling, accusing, swearing, screaming, berating, and belittling are common behaviors. Biting Bulldogs do not hesitate to go for the jugular. An attack bulldog walks around looking for a fight. She is the instigator. She strikes first. A defensive bulldog does not normally bite unless someone bites her first. But if bitten, she fiercely retaliates. Dog fighting does little or nothing to resolve issues. In fact, it often escalates the conflict."
If you want to learn more about how to "fight clean" check out this devotion I wrote several years ago called, "Fighting Clean". It might be of encouragement to you. This is something I struggle with. Conflict is going to happen, the way I deal with it is the constant challenge.