Sunday, January 24, 2010

Catching Up and a Few Questions

I was wondering if anyone had a child who had trouble sleeping as they went through growth spurts? I always thought it would be the opposite, that they would sleep harder and longer, but I think we are having the opposite problem. Just wondering if anyone can give me some insight into what they have experienced with their 9-12 year old boys.
Lily has a snotty nose, so I'm going to have to skip church again. She is still teething and is very fussy. She is our resident "screech owl". When she doesn't get what she wants the second she wants it, she has this high-pitched screech, that makes us want to climb the walls! Love her, but I need to figure out how to break her of that. Any suggestions?
I have started a new Bible study. I am always doing a Beth Moore, but she doesn't write Bible Studies fast enough for me, so I got desperate and bought some new ones! I found one by Mary Kassium called, "Conversation Peace". It is all about how we should be using our tongues. I have been very convicted so far (and this is the same stuff I've taught on). It seems God wants me to have another refresher course on the subject. I have come a long way when it comes to my anger, but it still sneaks up on me, when I'm tired, hormonal or frustrated, and just plain being selfish. I'm hoping this study will bring some more impurities out into the light so that I can deal with them.
This study has challenged me to memorize scripture. This is something I have always struggled with. Memorizing is not my thing! I have been lazy about it. But I've stepped up to the challenge and am going to memorize a verse a week.
I am also reading "For Parents Only" by Shaunti Feildman. It is so good and is helping me with my older boys. I am understanding some of the outbursts and anger. I'm not allowing it, but I am not taking it personally. Yesterday, both of the boys had a meltdown and after I started to get angry, I stopped, went to my room and breathed! Josh eventually turned it around and came to me and apologized. We had a long talk about how we BOTH should use our tongues. Not long after that Marcus didn't like a decision I made and let me know about it. Round 2!!! I started to get frustrated and angry, but I could see the kid was really tired. I delivered the codes (consequences) and then told him I loved him. That took the wind out of his sails! He came to me, crying and asking me to forgive him. I ended up praying with them both and talking through it. God was there and helped me give grace when I needed to. I still stuck with the consequences, but they understood that they were disrespectful. They took responsibility for their behavior, which is half the battle. Whew!!! Parenting is tough! Parenting is not for the faint-hearted! I thank God that I have the Bible as a guidebook, or I would be a jibberingidiot by now!
(This post would not be possible, without my sweet friend, Jen over at "Wanting What I Have", who took the time to email my post out of her Google Reader after my computer went blitzo! Thanks, Jen!)


Cheesemakin' Mamma said...

Wonderful post, Stace. I look forward to hearing the advice that others are sure to give. I'm praying for you today, Sis! Can't wait to scrapbook with you this weekend.

Love ya more than you know,

Kimberly said...

Cures for screeching babies- I never had one, but the baby we watch is quite vocal. I'll be checking to see if anyone has any helpful techniques.

9-12 year old boys- We just left that age! I learned a while back that children do the most growing while they sleep. I would say just keep things consistant, and maybe the routine would help induce sleep.

Good luck, and to your computer let it know that freak outs aren't allowed at your house!

candy said...

I'm with you on memorizing scripture. Get it in our hearts.
I didn't go but we had a good service last night. I read coments from my friends. and one said she was so convicted when she heard the comment(and let me just say that we all know this I know this but to hear it,this time, really got me)"How much God do you want you can have all that you want.It's not God's decision it's yours. He's ready to give as much as we ask for."

Connie said...

You are so special and honest. Being a Mommy is hard work! Will see what advice you get .... :)

Regina @VestPocketFamilyFarm said...

Screech=time out, ad infinitum. Actions=consequences, so that the repetition makes the connection that her behavior is causing the time out for Lily.

If her hearing is sensitive, then screech back at her, screech=screech. That may make the connection that the screech is not acceptable behavior.

Bless her, she's a true human being, wants what she wants, when she wants it and going to tell you so. ;))

Cat said...

My daughter began 'time-outs' very early and for just a few moments when I. was very young. She doesn't believe in spanking, and misbehaviors began on the changing table. She took a weekend to begin the timeouts, and it didn't take very long. She was vocal in a short explanation of what I. was doing wrong, and told her what she expected. It worked beautifully. I don't think screeching back would be modeling good behavior, personally.

J said...

I was glad to help! It's so frustrating to get things typed out and then to lose them! - and thanks for the link! You're kind!

His bondservant said...

Hi Stacie,

I will tell you what I did for my son who is somewhat of a whiner. I had to make the punishment coincide with his desire. So, I found out what he disliked the most. He does not like to be set apart for anything. So, when he would whine/screech, I would softly tell him, "Son, this is unacceptable behavior. I would remind him that in our home we do not respond in this way and that the Bible says "Children obey your parents in the Lord." Since you are not doing that, you will remain on your bed with no toys until Mommy says you may come out." (Usually 10 or 15 minutes) for little guys. If he called out before then, his time would get extended. If he gets up and doesn't sit still...that is a second infraction and he will get spanked. It didn't take him long to change his behavior. But, that will depend largely on the motivation. For my oldest boy, I would take away his Legos for a time because that is what matters to him. Don't know if that helps, but it did work for my screecher. And thanks for the constant reminder of having kind speech to our children. I need to hear that often.

God bless,

Stacie, A Firefighter's Wife said...

Great advice, everyone, thank you! I have been doing time outs consistently and it is saving my sanity as well as my other children who are trying to do their schoolwork.

Katie said...

Sounds like you're doing a great job with your boys, I can only imagine how frustrating it must be when they're older. As for the screeching--I hope it's a short-lived phase and your little one gets with the program soon. I use timeouts not only to teach a lesson but for my sanity, too.

Kayla said...

You are so right! I do not know how people parent without Jesus! The Holy Spirit within you has the best advice of all! Listen, He will tell you how to handle each occurrence with your kids. He is so smart! :)

christy rose said...

Stacie, That last comment was from me. I was logged in under one of my kids' friends accounts and I just realized it. Sorry

Kari said...

It's so true that if they don't "own" their sins it misses the point! I'm realizing that with my 9 year old who seems to puff with pride whenever confronted. Ahhh! I'm not sure what to do half the time!
BTW, I'm brand new to your blog and really enjoyed taking a peek. I also have 6 kiddos and one more on the way. Blessings.

Stacie, A Firefighter's Wife said...

Kari, it's so nice to meet you! I hope you come visit often. I long for this to be a place of encouragement for mom's with one child or many.


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