Thursday, December 31, 2009

She Opens Her Mouth With Wisdom

She Opens Her Mouth With Wisdom
(written a couple of years ago)

“She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the law of kindness is on her tongue.”
-Proverbs 31:26

Dear Mothers,

I was recently convicted after reading this verse about my tongue. I felt the Lord repeating that last part over and over in my head “The law of kindness is on her tongue”. I knew He was telling me that this is an area that I certainly need to work on. One of my biggest frustrations as a mother is that I have an extremely hard time being kind when I’m disciplining. Most of the time I sound mean, angry, disappointed and frustrated. I have been asking God to help me change this, so I wasn’t surprised when He spoke to me about it again.

He has brought a wonderful word picture in my life that I have had the opportunity to use many times with my children. Recently, I was pulled over by a policeman because I did not come to a complete stop at a stop-sign. I was so embarrassed that I had failed my children by letting them see that I had broken the law (and gotten caught), but I prayed that something good would come out of it. When I would discipline them I would try to remember what the policeman did to me. Do you think he ranted and raved as he threw a ticket at me? Or did he calmly tell me what I did wrong, ask me why I did it, and then quietly hand me a ticket? I think we know that the answer to that is the latter. I am learning that yelling, screaming, ranting and raving are not the key to disciplining. It is a calm, quiet spirit. It is kindness after the disciplining is over. The hug, the kiss, the “I love you even though you messed up”. This is what produces the lasting effects of discipline that we so desire to see in our children. After all, this is how God disciplines us, isn’t it?

Oh yes, it was highly embarrassing to be caught doing something so foolish, but to be able to use this experience is invaluable. My children also got to see that adults suffer consequences too, when they mess up (although they were worried that Mommy was going to go to jail!).

Soooo, is the law of kindness on your tongue? Are you providing gentle or harsh instruction? Are you opening your mouth with wisdom? If not, pray and ask God to remind you to be kind while you are disciplining. Ask God to help you be the “police-officer” who calmly gives the consequence. He will honor your request, I guarantee it.

“Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.”
–Mother Teresa

“Death and Life are in the power of the tongue” –Proverbs 18:21(a)

Let’s speak life-giving words to our children, not words that bring death to their spirit!

From One Mom to Another,

14 comments:

I am blessed! said...

There are so many Proverbs that instruct us about our words that you know it's important to God. Also James talks about how even though the tongue is small, it can do tremendous damage. And the kids and I memorized Ephesians 4:25- which is so convicting about our speech. "Let no corrupt word procede out of your mouth, but that which is edifying and gives grace to the hearers." You can tell this is an area the Lord has been dealing with me in, too. You are not alone! Thanks for the encouragement and powerful illustration!

Parsley said...

Great post. God has really blessed me with more patience lately. I've dealt with things more peacefully than I would have earlier in the year. Hope that means I continue into the next.

Kimberly said...

Great post! I am finding that as my voice returns, my drill sergeant tone is returning with it - That I want to change. Happy New Year, Stacie! Your blog posts are convicting and inspiring!

Donna B said...

Wonderful post and a great reminder. This is something I have been working on too. It is so easy when the house gets loud to revert to shouting and rants.

Rachel and Family said...

I just LOVED looking at all your Christmas pictures!! Your kids are so precious and it looks like they really enjoyed Christmas. What wonderful parents they have to put it all together for them.

Those movies sound good. I'll have to look for them on Netflix. I like movies that get the kids fired up about their faith.

Also, good devotion. My how my tongue has caused me trouble. Most of the time, after conversations, I walk away wishing I had said much less.

RaD said...

That's a good one. And no, I'm not so nice when my kids mess up either but I have been trying to work on this too. It's nice to know I'm not alone. Thanks for that reminder.

Camille said...

Lovely post Stacie ~ Thanks for re-printing...I missed it the first time! :) God is so merciful with us isn't He? I love it how forgiving the children are...what a picture to us! Key is...ASK for forgiveness and pray with them...POWERFUL example that sets for them.

May the Lord give you a blessed New Year!
With Love,
Camille

Cat said...

I applaud your 'wisdom' in this post, Stacie. I would only add that our mouths speak kindness to our hubbies too. That is where I fail most, since my children have flown the coop. Happy New Year!!

OurLilFullFam said...

Oh how true! I heard Teri Maxwell speak of this once at a conference. She was saying how the policeman wouldn't think he was failure if he stopped you day after day and gave you a ticket more than once, he would just keep doing his job and not get angry and yell.

Yelling is my all time weakness! I hate it, especially when I see my kids doing it to each other and knowing they learned it from me!

Thanks for your encouraging words!

Stephanie

Connie said...

An excellent post. We do rule our home with our tongues. Sometimes we destroy all of hard work so fast. A great reminder for the New Year.

Teresa @ Grammy Girlfriend said...

What a great post....Happy New Year....so glad I dropped by tonight..

Tina said...

Thank you for that wonderful reminder and challenge. I've often thought that, although I don't realize it, if I heard my words (or more specifically my tone) recorded, I'd be shocked. How easily my frustration is shown in my the tone and level of my verse. Thank you for the sweet reminder to try to cultivate that gentle and quiet spirit that's of much worth in God's eyes (and will also bless those around me).
In His love,
Tina

Grandma Becky said...

Good thoughts, Stacie. I know how you feel about correcting children and being wise while doing it. I remember those days well and learned to curb my anger. I have learned to think before I speak to my hubby about things. If I'm upset I just go in the other room b4 saying something.

I recently was pulled over for not stopping for a school bus--didn't have a median so should have stopped. A co-worker was with me at the time and I felt horrible and policeman was stern but for some reason he didn't give me a ticket. I was quite shocked as I don't know why he didn't and maybe it was my demeanor? God only knows and am thankful for that incidence in spite of the fear factor! :?

Cheesemakin' Mamma said...

This is super convicting! I have to conciously make myself get out of drill sergeant mode. If you hear me doing it when I'm on the phone with you, please say something! Thanks for being the best accountability partner ever! Love ya, sis!

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