Sunday, November 8, 2009

Love is Patient: When Loving Your Spouse Gets Tough

"Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love." -Ephesians 4:2 NIV

I'm reading a really good book called, "The Love Dare". I thought it might go well with the 30 Day Challenge. God is really opening my eyes on what He wants love to look like in my marriage. Here is what "The Love Dare" says about it...

"Love is built on two pillars that best define what it is. Those pillars are patience and kindness. All other characteristics of love are extensions of these two attributes.

When you choose to be patient, you respond in a positive way to a negative situation. You are slow to anger. You choose to have a long fuse instead of a quick temper (Ouch!). Patience brings an internal calm during an external storm.

No one likes to be around an impatient person. It causes you to overreact in angry, foolish, and regrettable ways. The irony of anger towards a wrongful action is that it spawns new wrongs of its own. Anger almost never makes things better. In fact, it usually generates additional problems. But patience stops problems in their tracks. More than biting your lip, more than clapping a hand over your mouth, patience is a deep breath. It clears the air. It stops foolishness from whipping it's scorpion tail all over the room. It is a choice to control your emotions rather than allowing your emotions to control you, and shows discretion instead of returning evil for evil.

If your spouse offends you, do you quickly retaliate, or do you stay under control? Do you find that anger is your emotional default when treated unfairly? If so, you are spreading poison rather than medicine.

Anger is usually caused when the strong desire for something is mixed with disappointment or grief. You don't get what you want and you start heating up inside. It is often an emotional reaction that flows out of our own selfishness, foolishness, or evil motives.

Patience, however, makes us wise. It doesn't rush to judgement but listens to what the other person is saying. Patience stands in the doorway where anger is clawing to burst in , but waits to see the whole picture before passing judgement. The Bible says, "He who is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who is quick-tempered exalts folly" (Proverbs 14:29).

As sure as a lack of patience will turn your home into a war zone, the practice of patience will foster peace and quiet. (Who doesn't need that?)

Patience helps you give your spouse permission to be human. It understands that everyone fails. When a mistake is made, it chooses to give them more time than they deserve to correct it.

But can your spouse count on having a patience wife to deal with?

Few of us do patience very well, and none of us do it naturally. But wise women will pursue it as an essential ingredient to their marriage relationships!"

Can you imagine the kind of marriages we would have if we all practiced this a little more? Keep on going ladies, we are almost halfway there!

Do you have a testimony on practicing patience? Please share with us!

Remember, to keep praying for each other!


alexis said...

Thanks for serving me a slice of humble pie! Much needed lately. I have heard of that book. A friend of mine says it's a good one to read along with your husband. I think I may look for it. Great post!

Farmgirl Cyn said...

It's so easy to hurt the ones you love, isn't it? And, yet, they are the ones we should be the most patient, kind, and loving towards. Thanks for the timely reminder.

Camille said...

LOVE this post! I appreciate you Stacie...may God continue to give you wisdom as you seek Him first.


Chris in FL said...

I've never read the book but I loved the movie (Fireproof).

Thanks again for all your encouragement. :)

...they call me mommy... said...

Great post! I haven't read that book yet! :)

Always wonderful to be reminded of these things!!!


Jenn @ A Country Girl's Ramblings said...

Practicing, practicing, practicing...patience is definitely not my virtue, but I want it to be! said...

perfect timing for me to read this...i am having patience issues these days.

God is telling me something.

Kimberly said...

Loving my spouse this weekend was especially challenging - he was in this funk that gets my bloodpressure soaring; and I fell for it hook, line and sinker! Sent me right to the place, of, I'm not putting up with your bad attitude, meaning my attitude stunk also. Everything I've learned from God, through, Bible studies or ladies forums went staight out the door! We cleared the air by Sunday night, but I did not practice positive words or actions with my Hubby this weekend.

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