Saturday, November 21, 2009

Love Is Not Rude


The Lord has been challenging me as I am trying to complete "Love Dare". Here are a few things that really hit home this week.

"Rudeness is unnecessarily saying or doing things that are unpleasant for another person to be around. To be rude is to act unbecoming, embarrassing, or irritating. In marriage, this could be a foul mouth, poor table manners, or a habit of making sarcastic quips. However you look at it, no one enjoys being around a rude person. Rude behavior may seem insignificant to the person doing it, but it's unpleasant to those on the receiving end...

The bottom line is that genuine love mind its manners...

Embracing this one concept could add some fresh air to your marriage. Good manners express to your husband, "I value you enough to exercise some self-control around you. I want to be a person who is a pleasure to be with." When you allow love to change your behavior-even in the smallest of ways-you restore an atmosphere of honor to your relationship...

We are queens of double standards! We may be barking or pouting around the house, but if the front door chimes, we open it all smiling and kind. Yet if we dare to love, we'll also want to give our best to our own husbands and children. If we don't let love motivate us to make needed changes in our behavior,the quality of our marriage relationships will suffer for it...

There are two main reasons why people are rude: ignorance and selfishness...

Today will you be thoughtful and loving enough to discover and avoid the behavior that causes life to be unpleasant for your mate? Will you dare to be delightful?"

Here is a golden rule...

Be as considerate to your spouse as you are to strangers.

In my journal I wrote that I needed to make sure I am not rude by interrupting my husband. It doesn't matter if he interrupts me or not. I can only change my behavior. I am going to work on giving him the courtesy of listening to the entirety of what he has to say before I jump in with my two cents. I will love him by listening!

How about you? Can you honestly evaluate your behavior and see if there is any rudeness that needs to be rooted out? Would you be vulnerable enough to share it with us? I want to be a blog that encourages realness.

15 comments:

Rachel and Family said...

Yes, I often interrupt my husband to ask "get to the point, I've got this, this and this to do". HOW RUDE of me!! I also have a bad habit of plowing through the people in my home. "excuse me, excuse me, excuse me" I say as I'm rushing around. BAD!! (there is always a small crowd following me, one less since Buster died.) I have really been trying to stop though. It was my new years resolution ;). Although I still catch myself doing these rude behaviors at times, I'm still better off than where I started.
Great post!

Jen@Scrapingirl said...

The same goes for all your family. I don't know where we get off thinking that we can talk to our family rude, but treat our friends like saints. Sad to say, I am guilty of that. I have been trying to change. I find myself apologizing to my hubby and kids for the way I speak to them. They are more special to me than all my friends combined. God is helping me change.

Rachel and Family said...

Lily's pics are precious. I love the one of her tucked in bed like a big girl.

Tell the kids "WAY TO GO!" on their Tae Kwon Do tests!!

Thanks for sharing!

Cat said...

Our "2 cents worth" is just that! Usually what we have to say is worth very little to the one with whom we want to make a point. They aren't usually interested in 'our point' at the time they are trying to make theirs. Good advice, Stacie! Keep up the good work.

Jessica said...

It's so true...it's often common to be more considerate of strangers than to our own cherished family members! The interrupting thing--that's where I can use some improvement! I often know just what my hubby's going to say, but still I should let him say it and take your wisdom to love him by listening! Thanks for this post.

Cheesemakin' Mamma said...

The thing God has REALLY been working with me on is stopping what I'm doing and greeting him at the door when he comes in. Also, when he goes to work, making sure I thank him for bringin' home the bacon. I know these things mean a lot. Listening better is something I need to work on too. Awesome post!

alexis said...

Oh boy, once again you have written a very timely post! I'm afraid I was very rude to my hubby today over some overtime issues at his work. As mentioned in your post, my rudeness stemmed directly from selfishness...I want him here to help me and so that I won't be lonely. I wish I could take back those words, as I know he's only trying his best to support our family...in reality, I should have thanked him! Thanks for giving me the advice I so needed to hear today.

Camille said...

What a terrific post! I am challenged to stop the interrupting too...I am a talker by nature and interrupt too easily. The Bible says that God values a "meek and gentle spirit" in a woman...oh that HE might help me moment by moment and day by day to follow HIM in this!

Have a wonderful weekend!
Blessings,
Camille

P.S. Where did you get that picture for your post?? It's so beautiful!!

Stacie, A Firefighter's Wife said...

Hmmm, sounds like we all need help on the interrupting thing! Glad I'm not alone!

Camille, I just found some of these old vintage photos for free online somewhere. I don't remember.

RaD said...

Rudeness is one of the things I worked on with the 30 day challenge the first time. It is, in fact, the first thing the Holy Spirit brought to my attention. And my rudeness was a direct result of selfishness, just as you pointed out. When I wanted my way and was not getting it I was mean about it. I'm thankful that I've been learning this concept already, but I appreciate the reminder because it always makes me re-evaluate what I've been up to lately.

I wanted to toss in too that I've been reading the Five Love Languages and one of the things that the author pointed out is that on average, few people listen for more than 17 seconds (or maybe it was 19?) before they begin to respond, whether or not the person is done. Wow! Few people? I'm guilty there too. Thankfully God's showing us all how to do this together!

Stacie, A Firefighter's Wife said...

Ruth, that was really interesting. I know I fit in that category!

Grandma Becky said...

Interrupting is a thing with me that I dislike doing and catch myself now before I do it. When I do interrupt now, I'm more apt to stop and apologize for it right away.
Last evening, while staying in a hotel, there was a small issue that came up. I didn't like the consequences and wanted to make the situation right. But hubby decided to go to bed. I realized I should have said nothing about the tv volume, put my book away and got ready for bed. I realized that debating the issue would have been worse. Kept mouth shut and went on, a little sad. I know what he dislikes, is rehashing issues (like beating a dead horse, if you catch my drift.) So that's one way I am honoring and loving my husband. Today was a good day. He touched my heart at church. Good trip home from WA. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and encouraging us, Stacie.

La Familia Garcia said...

Great post. Very challenging! I don't even realize things I do/say how rude they can come accoss if I just change the way I do/say it! I might be "RIGHT" but very rudely push the point accross...makes me very wrong!

Chrissy said...

Hi,

Just found your blog today and I have to admit, this post was right on target! Thanks for writing it! Hope you're well today! :]

wife.mom.nurse said...

I so agree with you on the thought of being kinder to others than my own family.

Definitely something to work on.

Thank,
Julie

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