Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Choosing to Love Your Husband


"God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:8

The Book "Love Dare" says this, "If your reasons for loving your spouse all have something to do with his or her qualities-and then those same qualities suddenly or gradually disappear-your basis for love is over...

The only way love can last a lifetime is if it's unconditional. The truth is this: love is not determined by the one being loved but rather by the one choosing to love...

Agape love is "in sickness and health" love, "for richer or poorer" love, "for better or worse" love. It is the only kind of love that is true love. That's because this is God's kind of love. He doesn't love us because we are lovable but because He is so loving!

If a man says to his wife, "I have fallen out of love with you," he is actually saying, "I never loved you unconditionally to begin with." His love was based on feelings or circumstances rather than commitment...

When your enjoyment of each other as best friends and lovers is based on unwavering commitment, you will experience an intimacy that cannot be achieved any other way...

You will no longer say, "I love you because..." You will now say, "I love you, PERIOD."

That is the kind of love that I want to have for my husband. This is not human love, but love that can only come from God!

I'm going to be extremely honest with you. Several years ago, there was a time when I found out that my husband didn't meet my needs. I seriously did not feel an ounce of love for him. It scared me so bad. I think we probably have all been there. Praise the Lord, I was committed or I would have surely given up. We had hit a wall, a total roadblock that we just couldn't seem to get over. Every time I would mention counseling, he refused to go. I was in so much pain that I finally decided that I would would go to counseling myself and asked the church to help me pay for part of the counseling so that I would know how to live in the mess that we had for a marriage. I had many people praying and God did a miracle. Steve not only came to counseling, he embraced it and we started a new chapter in our marriage. He now recommends counseling to any couple that he sees struggling.

Slowly, as God showed me His great love for me, he showed me how to love someone who is imperfect and sometimes unlovable. My new goal is to LOVE Steve, PERIOD, and to remember that he not just my husband, but my Brother in Christ and I should be treating him accordingly.

God help us all, as we continually strive to learn how to love our husbands better.

9 comments:

La Familia Garcia said...

Praising God for the miracles he does in our marriages! I recently heard in a sermon how God defines love..not only is love....he is WHY we know love (made in His image) that is why we should love as he loves..unconditionally

Connie said...

Amen. My husband and I have always said, LOVE IS A CHOICE. It has held us together through thick and thin. We are still in love after 41 years because we made the decision to stay in love. IT WORKS.

melaniek said...

The Lord is working through you today, this post was exactly what I needed to read. I was sitting here upset with my husband because he is gone again today...another day of his precious vacation time spent without us, without me. I'm sad and mad and lonely. I want to love my husband the way you described in your post. Thank you so much. I have always believed love is a choice.

Cheesemakin' Mamma said...

I know your honesty is refreshing and so many woman reading your blog are going to identify with this post. I just pray your blog will continue to touch many lives and encourage those who are hurting and feel they have no hope. Keep showing us the Way, Stace!

RaD said...

We went through a time like that too right after our son was born. Thankfully neither one of us has ever been a quitter.

Tina said...

What a wonderful, encouraging post and reminder of such truth. Thank you! You're right, love is not a feeling but rather a choice and commitment. We need God's help and strength in this. Thank you for a great post.
In His love,
Tina

...they call me mommy... said...

I love when you said, "He is my BROTHER IN CHRIST!" So true! Thank you!

Amy

Chris in FL said...

Thanks for being so transparent with the ladies. I know after the "honeymoon" season is over and we start having children we just become more like room mates instead of lovers.

I am guilty of the same. These past few days, the Lord has shown me I haven't been receiving the love of my husband. I have been pushing him away in ways that I didn't realized.. (through thoughts of insecurity on my part). I realized that I was literally pushing him away and there had been strife.

I had to lay myself at the throne room of God and ask for the Lord to renew my mind in my thoughts for my husband. I had to regain our love back and bring my husband back to my thoughts. In turn has made be appreciate his love again. Even though I still loved him but not embraced it like I should have.

So I am walking this out also. Thanks again for your sharing!! It's a blessing

Toni Floyd said...

I liked what the Love Dare has to say about loving unconditionally. My husband and I promised each other years ago that divorce would never be an option for us no matter what. After 13 years we love each other more than I ever thought could be possible. Our marriage vows to God are important to us. We drive each other crazy and get mad over dumb stuff sometimes but we live confidentally knowing that only death can seperate us! Toni

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