Thursday, July 9, 2009

I'm Tired

Man, am I tired. I think the camping trip (and lack of sleep) has finally hit me. I can't seem to get out of it. Lily is waking up more than usual. She keeps wanting to go to bed around 6:00 a.m. and get up around 4:30 or 5:00 (with her usual meal around 1:00 or 2:00 a.m.)

I homeschooled Marcus and Josh today, made almost three gallons of soup and two pans of homemade whole wheat rolls for a couple of sick people and our own family. I made enough to put into the freezer for another meal. That felt good.

The kids had Tae Kwon Do. I got brave and took the three little ones to the store to get four things. It was so crowded because of the migrate workers. It took forever. But they were so good and Lily was even awake.

We ran a bunch of errands and then came home. I refused to let them watch a movie even though I desperately needed a nap. They have been watching too many movies lately because I have been so tired. I reserve movies usually for my naptime (yes, I one of those horrible moms that uses a movie every now and then for a babysitter, so shoot me, it's called survival!) I managed to get them to pick up the house and then I jumped on the trampoline with Jess and Andrew for awhile. We saw a huge cloud of smoke up over by Eight Mile Rd and new it was a grass fire. Steve must have been on it and my dad called and said he was going over there, too. So I prayed for both of their safety.

After dinner (soup) I watered the lawn while the younger kids turned the kitchen chairs and benches into a choo choo and the older kids turned my fry trays into Star Wars flying thingys.

I treated them to a Netflix movie called "Bridge over Teribithia". It was all right. I was surprised that there were 4 mild cuss words in it since it was toted for "children and family". Why do they have to throw those in? I don't get? Do they want our children to learn to cuss? Grrrrrr... I made them popcorn and they thought Mom was the greatest. I never made any kind of popcorn other than caramel corn, so they were really excited that I made them "salty popcorn". Too funny!

Yesterday, Steve wanted to go to the WAAAM museum in Hood River. It cost $42 for us to get in. Ouch! I had know idea it was going to be that expensive. It was a cool museum though. Lots of old airplanes, cars and neat WWII Jeeps, guns and other paraphernalia. There was a great couch to sit on to nurse Lily and an old guy who was a volunteer showed us all around the place. We really enjoyed talking to him and he loved teaching the kids stuff. I love this kind of homeschooling field trip, nice and relaxed! We ate Chinese afterwards. Again, the kids did great. Jacob is getting to be quite the eater. He is so stinkin' cute now that he is talking. He is very animated!

I am feeling a little distant from God, so I am focusing a lot on prayer and supplication. I am on the computer less and instead I am reading some incredible testimonies from other women who accepted Jesus while I nurse. I love to hear how God changed their lives from the inside out. That is how I want to be. I want to be changed from the inside out. I want to feel His presence, even when I'm feeling tired and worn out. I want to feel His presence when I'm breaking up another fight between the kids, or disciplining for the same offense that has been committed over and over. I need Him! I need to feel His love. I need to experience His power. I need everything about Him.

And that is how I'm doing...


Jennifer said...

I always use DVDs for a babysitter when I take my naps. I usually take one every day. :) And we like that movie too. I agree with you, why do they have to ruin a good movie with bad words.

Cat said...

Oh, my precious Stacie, you are fighting a winning battle with the enemy. I will hold you up in be drawn closer, to be mild-mannered in your interactions with the kids, and to be relieved of the 'tired' burden. I'm home now, so I'll call you.

Parsley said...

Sometimes when I get tired I feel far away from God but realize...He's not far away, He's just holding my hand quietly.

Stacie, A Firefighter's Wife said...

Thanks so much. I am leaning on the Lord. He is being quiet now, but that is where faith comes in, right? When we can't feel or see Him, we KNOW He is near. I know that I know that I know.

Rachel and Family said...

As always, we love having you guys over! Thank you for blessing us with your presence :)
Yeah, I totally get your tiredness. I keep telling people.. be patient.. I am low-functioning right now. I even bought some more "conveniant" food from the store yesterday. I can't be making a snack every 10 minutes... "here's some goldfish... catch." I went out and bought Papa Murphy's for dinner.
Love ya girlfriend. You're one of a kind. May the Lord make His face shine upon you!

Cheesemakin' Mamma said...

I'm praying Lily will start sleeping all the way through the night for you. As for God feeling far away, like we talked about, you're just in a valley right now. Hang in there! I know you are and you are doing the right thing by pressing in.

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