Our pastor made me think today when he asked what we were consumed with. I examined my heart and realized that right now I am consumed with many thoughts. Here are just a few:
1. Having this baby early.
2. How am I going to handle six kids?
3. What will homeschooling be like with six kids?
4. Will I be able to give my attention to all of my children?
5. Will Jacob be jealous of this new baby?
6. What will labor be like with this one?
7. Will my doctor be on call?
8. Will I be a good wife and mom or will I be spread too thin?
These are the thoughts that have been consuming me for about a month. This is NOT where God wants me to be. He wants me to be consumed with Him. I had to repent and confess that I have not been a good witness for Him. I have been a whiner and complainer when I could be counting my blessings and bringing Him glory. Forgive me, Lord!
This is my prayer today:
"I want to be consumed by Your love, Your power, Your might. I want to feel Your strength running through my body as I run out of my own. I want to look around me and count each and every blessing that You give me everyday. Help me to see the laughter and smiles as I wipe dirty faces. Help me to see the blessing of having a wonderfully large home as I sweep and clean it each day. Help me to see the blessing of homeschooling my children even when we are struggling through a concept or a lesson. Give me a thankful heart as I prepare nourishing food for my husband and children. Let me NOT grow weary in doing good. Let me not grow weary in teaching my children kindness, self-control, and to put others before themselves. Consume my thoughts, my heart, my soul, Lord! Change me from the inside out!"