Saturday, March 12, 2011
I am reading this amazing book by Carol Kent called "Secret Longings of The Heart". It has some amazing insight.
I have been struggling with insignificance. I wonder am I really making a difference for God cooped up in my home, ministering to what seem to be very ungrateful children and a dear husband who just "doesn't know what he has". Isn't that shameful?
I also struggle with my spirituality. Am I spiritual enough? Is God pleased with me in this area?
Corrie Ten Boom says, "I have learned in my years on earth to hold everything loosely, because when I hold things tightly, God has to pry my fingers away. And that hurts. That hurts." Corrie had learned the secret-the essence of true spirituality. What is it? Relinquishment, plain and simple.
J. Oswald Sanders defines this well: "Spirituality is not easy to define, but its presence or absence can easily be discerned...It is the power to change the atmosphere by one's presence, the UNCONSCIOUS influence that makes Christ and spiritual things real to others."
Do you know what this means? This means I don't have to strive to be spiritual. By being just me, praying, listening for God, waiting for His direction, and following the duties that He has given to me right now faithfully, is all I need to do. I am unconsciously influencing others! For someone who has struggled with pride endlessly, this is a GOOD thing!
So my prayer today is this, " Dear God, please let me continue to do what you have asked me to do. May I not strive to be spiritual, but to just be a faithful follower of you. Let me influence others for Jesus without me even knowing it. I pray that when I get to heaven I will be shocked at how I've influenced others for Your Glory. Help me be the Daughter you would have me be. Thank you, Jesus, for dying for me so that I might be forgiven for the many sins that I commit each day. Thank you for sending your Holy Spirit to help me, strengthen me, and give me counsel each and every day. Thank you that you do not desert me and leave me to my own devices. You are here and now and ever more, always guiding, loving, and comforting me. All praise be to God for any influence I might yield on anyone in this fallen world. May your light shine brightly in my life! Amen!"