Sunday, March 27, 2011
Are You Thirsty?
I have been thirsty lately. I mean really thirsty. I can't seem to get enough of God's Word. If I have time to read something, I pick up a good Christian book that helps me better myself. I am praying more, finding that time to lift up people and prayer petitions to God.
It makes me a little nervous, though. I wonder what God is preparing me for. Everything I'm reading seems to be on contentment, the value of friendship, staying plugged into God, and pressing in towards Him when He seems distant.
The funny thing is, is He does seem distant right now. I can't explain it or put my finger on it. I haven't heard His voice in a while, not that direct, knock-you-down-with-a-feather voice that makes you wonder how He knows you so intimately. He has been speaking to me through books, Scriptures and circumstances. I know He's there, guiding me and leading me, but it feels like He's letting me develop my faith in Him more, but not just giving me the answer right away.
A lot of issues in my life right now are not going to be resolved in the next few days. The things I'm praying for like my children's Walks with God, my husband's health, my children's attitudes, how to manage my growing family and household are all things that are going to take time. I am waiting on the Lord with expectant hope. That is all I can do.
In the meantime, I trust, live my life as best I can with what I have, and try to adjust my attitudes and actions to what I know to be Biblical and pleasing to God. I fail everyday. But I am determined to not go in my own strength, but in His. I KNOW this pleases Him even if I don't FEEL that affirmation from Him everyday.
I think that is why I'm thirsty, too. I want His affirmation more then my husband's, children's, sister's, parents, and friends. I want to know He is pleased with me as a wife, mother, friend, daughter and more important just me, plain old me. The me that is stripped away of all her roles. The me that was at that retreat a month ago and discovered again some of what she is without her roles. An artist, a cook, a reader, a nature lover, and a child of God.
Are you thirsty? Drink, drink until you are satisfied, if you aren't satisfied, you haven't drank enough!