The 30-Day Challenge has been an eye-opener for me as well as those around me with whom I share the stories. My Thursday afternoon Bible study gals look forward to hearing the progress I am willing to share. And I admit that my husband was gone for two weeks of the challenge, but speaking kindly about him was a great challenge because the stories I can tell are so funny, and people enjoy a good laugh. I don’t want to do that anymore, especially at my husband’s expense. This continues to be a challenge for me, and I’m getting better…really!
I’ve been married just three years, so the struggles are different for those of you with a history with your spouse, and those with children in the home still. We didn’t even know each other three years ago; we just knew that God had provided for us a partner, and we were willing to go blindly into the marriage expecting God to bless us. God HAS!! We are older, more mature, and my husband is a godly man…a very mature Christian. So, the everyday challenges I face are much different than yours. We don’t have issues with children or finances either, so the friction comes between us in unique ways. I know some of you are watching me because of all this too.
In the three years we’ve been married, Jay has complimented me less than 3 times, and one of those I asked for. I’m not speaking disparagingly of him; I’m telling you that he is unaware of me in obvious-to-women ways. Since he came home from his two-week vacation he’s complimented me three times!! I greeted him with a kiss and longing for his company, and I gave him what he wanted intimately as soon as he came home. He knows that my intimacy needs are met by conversation, so he has tried to be conversant. He has complimented me on meals which was unheard of before.
My sweet husband has really tried to do some things for me that I’ve asked for, some simple things like fixing a faucet or raising the clothesline. Before, he had pretty much ignored me because he is unaware of me. His life is full, and he doesn’t really need or want me except to be present. That is a huge challenge which God alone, and you girls, have helped me with. I don’t nag. I’ve made that a rule for myself. I ask once, remind once because he has asked me to do that. I don’t do anymore. I am honest when he asks why I don’t ask him to do something I got someone else to do. I tell him I’d asked, reminded and realized that my need wasn’t on his radar screen. Rather than be bitter or angry I just take care of it myself. I’ve told him sweetly that I need to be on his list, that I appreciate being on his radar screen. He is learning to pay closer attention. I think it is because God has helped me be a sweeter wife, speaking to and about my husband in edifying ways.
This challenge has been a test in many ways. We know there is no testimony without a test. We’ve tested and come up short, for certain. And I’m glad I’ve made the progress I’ve made. I couldn’t have done without you girls and your encouragements, stories and testimonies already given. Thank you!
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