As the end of the day arrives and I realize I am emotionally and physically exhausted, I realize again that I could not do this if it weren't by the grace of God. I was presented with challenge after challenge today. Disciplining without a partner is exhausting. I know why God created 2 parents. I can't wait till Steve comes home tomorrow and can take over.
I am tired. Tired of the endless diapers, yet I'm thankful that my children can poop on their own.
I am tired of cooking, yet thankful that we have food to cook.
I am tired of disciplining, yet thankful that God gives me wisdom and strength to do so while remaining mostly calm.
I am tired of the endless messes to clean up, yet thankful that I am not so obsessed with a clean house that my children can't have any fun.
I am tired of doing laundry, yet thankful that we have clothes to wash.
I am tired of sweeping the kitchen floor sometimes twice a day, yet thankful it is not a dirt floor that would never have to be swept.
I am tired of feeling sick, yet thankful that the very presence of morning sickness is a good sign that things are going well.
Another bit of perspective. A dear Sister in Christ, Treva Hoffman, died this morning. I don't even know if she was 40. She went to be with Lord after a long battle with cancer. When I heard the news and was praying for the family, I was struck with the thought, "what would she have valued in her last days?" She had a 10 year old son and husband. She must have just loved and lived and lived and loved. That's what I want to do. Yes, I'm tired and all of those things won't go away, but I am so thankful that I have my health, my husband, my children, my family and my home. I am doing the best I can with what has been given to me at this moment. I want my children to remember the hugs, the smiles, the "good job, Sweetheart". I don't want them to remember a cranky mom that talked about the joy of the Lord, but had none flowing out of her.
Oh, God! Give me your joy, flood my soul with it! Wash me with your cleansing blood! Forgive my sins, they are so many! Fill me with your Spirit and help me to live my days loving You and loving everyone else who comes across my path. Create in me a new heart and a steadfast Spirit. Though I am weak, You are strong!
I just need perspective every now and then, don't you?