Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Why Lord?

My heart is breaking. The pager just went off and the call came in as an infant not breathing. I rushed the pager to my husband who was in the bathtub. He listened then asked me to shut it off quickly. Apparently, the details were getting to him. He said the baby was dead and couldn't be revived. We started praying. We lifted up the parents, the policeman and the firefighters. As I went by the bathroom, I heard Steve crying out to God asking "Why, why, why?" over and over again. It broke my heart. I pictured him recalling all the SIDS babies he has gone on. I know they bother him the most now that he is a parent. It reminds me once again of the things my husband sees and has to turn off when he gets home. I honestly don't know how he does it. If I saw something like that, I would not be able to function for who knows how long. These are guys are amazing. Please pray for them. They all deal with the stuff in such different ways. Some never talk about it and just stuff it all inside. One day it comes out and can ruin everything. Some take it out on their families, and some cry out to God, like my dear husband, and ask "why?".

In the meantime, I will be a silent warrior, praying...

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