Monday, July 21, 2008

Being Tested

I knew it would come. The day that God would test me in relation to my newest devotion "Let My Words be Few". Well, today was it. Steve and I had many projects to do and I would see things that I thought could be done "easier" if he did it my way, so I would open my big mouth instead of just letting him do it his way. He gets defensive, I get defensive then the battle is on. I failed many times today. I confessed, and again, purposed to keep my mouth closed unless something of necessary importance needed to be said. It sure is quiet around here now! Instead of getting angry at Steve and shooting my mouth off, I decided to take it to the other room and tell God how I felt about the situation. Was I angry still? You bet! But at least that anger was being filtered through the Holy Spirit instead of me just spouting off like a fool. When you pray it is hard not to finally come to the place of acceptance and asking the Lord to help me see Steve through His eyes. It's a sacrificial life-style. But isn't that was marriage is supposed to be? If marriage is a reflection of Christ and the Church, Christ gave everything up and suffered unto death for His beloved Church. Can I not keep my mouth shut and give up my rights to defend myself? I have to.

I hope by writing this, it would encourage you. I want to be honest about my struggles. I don't want to portray a life and marriage that is perfect. I struggle just like you. But I long to be better. I have hope that it will, and I thank God that my marriage has come so far. I thank God that my husband is a Christian and loves God. He is a good provider and a wonderful father to our five children. He gives generously to those in need. He is faithful to me and would never forsake me or the children.

I hope that tomorrow will be a more victorious day in the area of "fewer words". Pray for me...

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